So i just finally lost it. I have been trying so hard to keep everything together the past few days but I just can't anymore. I haven't been able to find a home for my boa (my stepmother wont let me keep him in the new house, I've had him for 7 years) & somebody suggested I ask petco. It turns out they can take him in for adoption, even though he's so huge. I was talking to the manager & all of a sudden I just started bawling over the phone. I couldn't even form a coherent word. I tried to pull it together & ended up laughing hysterically instead. I asked him to give me a second, he said it was okay he understands, but I couldn't pull it together & ended up just making vague plans for tomorrow & hanging up.
You know when I first got him I knew full well he could live over 30 years & that I would essentially have him forever. What the hell kind of person am I that I just have to abandon a cherished pet like this? I feel like this is my fault. I shouldn't have taken in such a long lived animal at my age...knowing full well I was not in a 'forever' home myself, but at the time, I never planned to go to college.
I'm sorry for this journal, you don't need to respond I just wanted to talk for a minute. I think people will think me silly getting so emotional over a reptile as if he were a dog or something but I love him so much, and I feel like I've failed him. He probably doesn't care. He probably thinks I'm just a tree with skin on it.
ugh, I'm sorry, just so many goodbyes. ;n;