But to be blunt, it's just super difficult for me to cope with someone that;s been in my life for over 4 years telling me that he wants me to GTFO of his :/

Yes, I'm aware the standard textbook solution is to hate the guy and move on saying hat he's a complete ass hole, but unlike the rest of the world I tend to be a little different in how I handle situations like this. Yeah, it's pry super unhealthy to dwell on it like I have been, but gimmie a fucking break.

I loved the guy...

I'm going in to talk to a doctor about anti depressants sometime in the next couple weeks...now get off my fucking back :/