FA+
Shop
Ugh...
13 years ago
General
I'm stuck. Not in an art block, or a writer's block, even. But just in....a life block, I guess. I've got a rapidly dwindling pool of people in my real life that don't make me feel like shit about everything. Even people who I used to look to for comfort are starting to turn around in really weird ways, and I can't make sense of it. I used to want to do concept art for a career, and I'd still like to, but I don't know how to get there without bankrupting myself, and for what? A piece of paper to PROVE I can do what I've been doing my whole life. I'm too crippled by my social anxiety to get a "normal" job, but I don't know where to find the motivation to hunt for something else, especially without any qualifications. I wish I could go back to school, but I want to get a place of our own again before I do that. Money takes priority right now, unfortunately, especially since I don't even know what to do with my life right now.
Thank spirits for the internet, because without it I'd become completely cut off from people aside from my fiance, and the little bit of my family that doesn't tear me to pieces.
I'll get over this soon, I'm sure...as soon as I manage to forget the words and weirdness of people who I used to feel so close to. If I could change the way my brain works, if I could make myself functional like a normal human being, I would do it in a heartbeat. I hate being scared of things. Of wanting to do something but literally being unable to do it.
Maybe I'll go for a bike ride later, burn off some of this nervous energy and make myself feel better.
Sorry for the rant. But honestly, you guys are the only people I can regularly talk to, aside from my fiance, the only person in the real world who I have constant contact with anymore.
Thank spirits for the internet, because without it I'd become completely cut off from people aside from my fiance, and the little bit of my family that doesn't tear me to pieces.
I'll get over this soon, I'm sure...as soon as I manage to forget the words and weirdness of people who I used to feel so close to. If I could change the way my brain works, if I could make myself functional like a normal human being, I would do it in a heartbeat. I hate being scared of things. Of wanting to do something but literally being unable to do it.
Maybe I'll go for a bike ride later, burn off some of this nervous energy and make myself feel better.
Sorry for the rant. But honestly, you guys are the only people I can regularly talk to, aside from my fiance, the only person in the real world who I have constant contact with anymore.
Vampirika, I think you are a very, very nice artist. Of course, this is just my opinion, but I tend to view your work as a more adult, underground aspect of what Disney and what it once used to be, unlike now, could have been. I like how you have animated your characters and the expressions you have placed on them. Not only that, but you give nice bodily figure and form to many of them. I see a mature quality to your work and how, I want to say, it's not impossible for you to pursue a career or whatnot in animation and make something of everything you do on here. I'm certainly happy to have watched.
As for me, I don't know what I am going to do with life myself. I am, not meaningfully, but, to some degree, uncertainly thankful that I have another year to complete before considering adult life. I'm going to treat it as a chance to enact change and seek reform on allowing dormant and redundant past to fade away, and I will urge to look forward to see what I can best to heed a calling, perhaps the calling. You take it easy. I'll keep you in prayer, and I would like to encourage that you hold on to your art!
That's a great way of describing how the world works, actually, and I'm going to keep that in mind. I'm trying to hold on to what little chance I've got to still be a kid, and I hope you do the same. One of the biggest problems in the world is just people trying to grow up too fast, and running themselves into the dirt with all the stress of adult life.