So after a really long week, the dust is setting and I'm edging into a 'plan' i guess you'd say...

After hella fucking applications and probably a lot of luck, I landed a new job at a fairly high class restaurant down here that will be replacing my currently crappy 'job' that I've BEEN doing. I turned in my 2 week notice Friday...my last day is actually tomorrow...funny how that works out.

I've agreed to stay for a semester in hopes that with a hopefully better job and school, I'll hopefully be preoccupied enough not to depress over how much I hate it here. Fulfilling this agreement will also mean that SUPPOSEDLY if I'm still unhappy at its end, my parents will let me move back to WA grief free :/ I have alot of mixed feelings on that whole situation right now...

I have however decided not to attempt to pick up any more classes for school this semester. With a new job, that frankly has me a little stressed out, and my recent personal mood swings...or downward spirals...I feel it's pry best I lay low this semester, which is kind of shitty because then 'staying' for a semester doesn't really do much but give my parents more time in which for me to hopefully enjoy being in Bakersfield.

This is my official announcement that I won't be attending rainfurrest. As of Monday I had 5$ left in my bank acc...I just flat out can't pull like 600$ out of my pocket for airfare, room costs and whatever else I'd need. I don't even have a place to stay anymore. I'm hoping that I can make FC but who the fuck knows :/ I'm honestly pretty down about the fact that I won't be seeing anyone in WA anytime soon but if I think on it too much it just exacerbates my issues.

So yeh. Willingly agreeing to stay shackled in the hell hole. No immediate routes of escape. Fun stuff :/ I'm honestly just having to repeat to myself that every few months I have a brief window to change my mind and move away and that if I stay past those windows, maybe I can get out of here in a year and a half if I crunch full schedules starting next semester including summer classes.

I'm still really not happy with any of this. My counselor says I shouldn't have to fake that I am so I'm not going to :/