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Today's victim of my soapbox: the Lifetime Channel
17 years ago
TESTICLES.
Man your stations, boys! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Okay, seriously. The only time I ever fucking watch that channel is for Will & Grace (you heard me). But other than that, I would sooner watch a full-length episode of Grey's Anatomy than watch two minutes of a Lifetime feature film.
THE RUNDOWN OF A TYPICAL LIFETIME FILM:
Cast:
Single-White-Female-Mom-with-tons-of-kids-looking-for-love-recovering-from-an-abusive-relationsip-and-getting-tons-of-support-from-other-wives-while-she-cheats-on-her-husband-because-it's-not-"love"
Bastardhole-Husband-who-plays-the-typical-pig-male-role-and-is-usually-very-mysoginistic.
---(Captain, I'm detecting trace amounts of exaggerations and sexism in the atmosphere.)----
THE DIALOGUE:
Female: BASTARD, GO TO HELL!
Male: *growl**snort*groooowwwl* *fucking noises with other girls* *growl* *snort*
---
Before I go any further, I would like to say I have nothing against women. I may be gay, but I do not hate women. What I'm complaining about Lifetime is the fact that they are the most unoriginal and probably the most cliche'ed channel of all history in television. And yes, they exaggerate a lot of stuff. Now, I realise that it is for the sake of drama, but my point stands valid because that's ALL THEY SHOW! God forbid they should ever show a movie that's more down-to-earth on the typical female life. (On that note, I actually like the movie Because I Said So. You can go straight to Hell in a SUV if you say one goddamn word). It's not really good unless the woman has some vicious struggle with her husband or another man in the film.
Anywho, I'm done. When you watch the previews for Army Wives at least 70+ times during commericals during Will & Grace, this is what comes out.
Now fuck yourselves politely, please.
Okay, seriously. The only time I ever fucking watch that channel is for Will & Grace (you heard me). But other than that, I would sooner watch a full-length episode of Grey's Anatomy than watch two minutes of a Lifetime feature film.
THE RUNDOWN OF A TYPICAL LIFETIME FILM:
Cast:
Single-White-Female-Mom-with-tons-of-kids-looking-for-love-recovering-from-an-abusive-relationsip-and-getting-tons-of-support-from-other-wives-while-she-cheats-on-her-husband-because-it's-not-"love"
Bastardhole-Husband-who-plays-the-typical-pig-male-role-and-is-usually-very-mysoginistic.
---(Captain, I'm detecting trace amounts of exaggerations and sexism in the atmosphere.)----
THE DIALOGUE:
Female: BASTARD, GO TO HELL!
Male: *growl**snort*groooowwwl* *fucking noises with other girls* *growl* *snort*
---
Before I go any further, I would like to say I have nothing against women. I may be gay, but I do not hate women. What I'm complaining about Lifetime is the fact that they are the most unoriginal and probably the most cliche'ed channel of all history in television. And yes, they exaggerate a lot of stuff. Now, I realise that it is for the sake of drama, but my point stands valid because that's ALL THEY SHOW! God forbid they should ever show a movie that's more down-to-earth on the typical female life. (On that note, I actually like the movie Because I Said So. You can go straight to Hell in a SUV if you say one goddamn word). It's not really good unless the woman has some vicious struggle with her husband or another man in the film.
Anywho, I'm done. When you watch the previews for Army Wives at least 70+ times during commericals during Will & Grace, this is what comes out.
Now fuck yourselves politely, please.
Not to mention the weird idea they might seem to suggest, like lesbianism being a result of a bad marriage. <.<
If you do go, then take Lifetime with you.
They are one of the most sexist channels ever. You'd think it'd be really hard to be sexist against a male, but they manage to pull it off in easy style.
And that hooded figure is Oprah.
I feel even worse for the men. They probably shoot tons of morphine so they can't feel the agony of performing in one of those movies. To think, there must be some awesome actor who's career never shot off because he was in a Lifetime "made for T.V." movie.