I wrote this as a method of meditation. I can't figure out anywhere else to put it, so I'm putting it here.



I don't know if being in the military is my forte. I don't know if anything will ever be really. The price of being gifted with the ability to do just about anything is the absence of satisfaction you get from doing those things. There's very little I've had to work or sacrifice for in my life. Things just always came to me. Then I came across something I really enjoyed. Something I couldn't explain or rationalize. Something I couldn't essentially hold in the palm of my hand, as I had everything else. Something that, for many years, I was unaware of.
This thing is love. Held in the palms of not -my- hand, but -our- hands. My career thus far has provided me with everything I need to support my relationship, with the exception of the most important part of it. Him. I'm realizing more and more how vital an element he is to my happiness, so I'm faced with the decision: Accept the challenge of truly giving up my securities to be with him, or: Remain a part of the military, and collect the material benefits that will pave my way to an easier future. Logically, the choice seems easy, but I'm sure anyone who's been in love can tell you that it's not that simple.
I hesitate. There is a fear, I must admit. An aversion to choosing the unknown, but likely the most rewarding, over the safe and certainly comfortable.

Honestly, the more I think about it, the easier the decision seems to become in my mind, but I now lean in the direction I never would have before. Love is changing me, and I'm starting to recognize that that isn't a bad thing.