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I feel like my social life is done for
13 years ago
General
I just want to say in advance that I'm sorry for posting such a journal on FA. I prefer to keep my furry life and my personal life separate, but this is virtually the only place I can post anything and be guaranteed lots of helpful people will read it and give me good advice rather than lectures (Facebook) or criticism (Twitter).
Every ER visit I've had, Insurance or not, has ended up costing me waaaay more than I could ever hope to afford. I'm already paying off 2 credit cards, loans from 2 people, and 2 college loans. Now on top of that, I have 4 medical bills, each ranging between $180 to $750 in price, all from medical issues that just hit me with no advanced warning and nothing I could have done to avoid them. I am left befuddled. HOW the hell do people manage such debt? I want to be a home owner someday so bankruptcy is out of the question.
Now, you might be thinking, "Lol, it's not the end of the world. You're still alive and independent." But that's all I am. That's not where I want to be. I can't go out and do things that involve money, because my paycheck is gone before the weekend is done, and then I have to look forward to the next payday, where my check will also be gone before the weekend is done. Last payday, I spent it all the day I got it. It's looking like that's going to happen again next payday. My offline social life, something that is pretty much already nonexistent, is pretty much stuck that way. I SHUDDER to think how much less of a life I'd have if my car broke down. I've never been without a car since I started driving except for the time I was in Job Corps, but even then, I was allowed to drive the vans they had on campus.
I always try to go to these offline furry parties hosted by a local furry party group called Fur The Record and I am always seeing groups of friends sticking together. I don't have that out here in Washington yet, and it's not something I can even work on building. I just end up being a wallflower because I just can't get out and meet people due to my financial situation.
In Washington where I live, I have only 3 folks I even consider to be a friend, and one of those three friends never contacts me for any reason. And when I have contacted this person in the past about being friends, and talking about life's hardships, he's helped me out with a lot of them, even though I never asked him to, automatically making him a friend to me.
Sure, people take me out to do stuff here and there, but I die a little inside when people pay for me, and I can tell it's putting a damper on the friendships I would like to form. So I just stop reaching out and stop making plans because I'll just be burdensome.
tl;dr Hopelessly deep in debt = Can't afford to have an offline social life = Nobody wants to hang out with me = A life I am sick and tired of living.
-Jai
Every ER visit I've had, Insurance or not, has ended up costing me waaaay more than I could ever hope to afford. I'm already paying off 2 credit cards, loans from 2 people, and 2 college loans. Now on top of that, I have 4 medical bills, each ranging between $180 to $750 in price, all from medical issues that just hit me with no advanced warning and nothing I could have done to avoid them. I am left befuddled. HOW the hell do people manage such debt? I want to be a home owner someday so bankruptcy is out of the question.
Now, you might be thinking, "Lol, it's not the end of the world. You're still alive and independent." But that's all I am. That's not where I want to be. I can't go out and do things that involve money, because my paycheck is gone before the weekend is done, and then I have to look forward to the next payday, where my check will also be gone before the weekend is done. Last payday, I spent it all the day I got it. It's looking like that's going to happen again next payday. My offline social life, something that is pretty much already nonexistent, is pretty much stuck that way. I SHUDDER to think how much less of a life I'd have if my car broke down. I've never been without a car since I started driving except for the time I was in Job Corps, but even then, I was allowed to drive the vans they had on campus.
I always try to go to these offline furry parties hosted by a local furry party group called Fur The Record and I am always seeing groups of friends sticking together. I don't have that out here in Washington yet, and it's not something I can even work on building. I just end up being a wallflower because I just can't get out and meet people due to my financial situation.
In Washington where I live, I have only 3 folks I even consider to be a friend, and one of those three friends never contacts me for any reason. And when I have contacted this person in the past about being friends, and talking about life's hardships, he's helped me out with a lot of them, even though I never asked him to, automatically making him a friend to me.
Sure, people take me out to do stuff here and there, but I die a little inside when people pay for me, and I can tell it's putting a damper on the friendships I would like to form. So I just stop reaching out and stop making plans because I'll just be burdensome.
tl;dr Hopelessly deep in debt = Can't afford to have an offline social life = Nobody wants to hang out with me = A life I am sick and tired of living.
-Jai
I'll pray for you!
I filed for Chapter 7 back in 1998 because I was up to my neck in debt from loans and credit cards. A little over three years later, I got started on my mortgage for my condo. It was just a matter of being able to rebuild my credit with small, secure steps. I kept all my utility, car insurance and rent payments on time (much easier when all that other debt was gone) as well as my car loan, which I didn't discharge in bankruptcy because I was able to afford it, and it was also a good way to rebuild my credit. When I could, I applied for store credit cards -- the interest on those things is horrendous, but making small purchases and paying them off also helped with my credit.
I was recently approved for a $5000 credit card with my credit union. I would be crazy to max that thing out (it's how I got in trouble in the past) but it can help if I ever have the need.
Of course, my experience was my own, so I can't guarantee it would be the same for you. You would have to consult with a good bankruptcy lawyer to see your options. In any case, good luck to you.
Credit cards and friends might be a bit more difficult. You can't really change the amount you pay to credit cards, and you don't want to jeopardize friendships by taking too long.
Whatever you decide to do plan out your "I need this to live" budget first. Plan for things like rent, food, gas, utilities, and a small amount for miscellaneous whatevers. Next plan for what I would consider "critical" repayments: friends and credit cards. Try to pay the most to friends and the minimum to cards plus whatever the APR is. This'll keep you from getting further in debt on your card. Figure out what you have left after than and start focusing on the other bills. Try to renegotiate the monthly payments, then pay the minimum on all but one, that one should include whatever extra you have left over.
I know you said that your debts are higher than your income, but I'm sure you can come out ahead. It's just going to take time.
*hugs*