Name: Jeff, and that's all I'm going to say XD
Birth date: Oct 12th, 1990 woot oldfart
Age: 21
Country of origin: MURRKA
Town Born in: Close to Charlotte, NC
Race/ancestry: WHITEY, mostly Scottish with like 1/8th Cherokee native American
Religion: Agnostic verging on atheist
Height: 6'3"
Eye color: Dark blue~ gray-- kinda stripey
Hair color and style: Brown with a reddish tinge :c
Skin Tone: PASTY! (well, kind of like perpetual October skin)
Tattoos: WANT one. Biceps. Need something I feel passionate about
Eye-sight: Myopic
Names/screen-names you go by: Jw, Jwmcd2, Jew, Jaywoo, Jaydub

Explain your username:
I'm a dirty rotten Jew :v

Explain your icon:
furfaggot

How would you describe your personality?
Loudmouth, random, a little smartypants

How would other people describe you?
unpredictable, friendly

Are you Afraid of anything/have any phobias?
umm... Bees. Still bees. Still so fucking scared of bees I practically pee myself a little.

What's your favourite physical feature about yourself?
My eyes. Or maybe my pecker. Yep, it's gotta be my pecker. I mean shoulders. And eyes.

What's your most hated physical feature about yourself?
Booty

Do you have any physical disabilities/ailments?
I am chronically depressed! Whee! Well, nothing as far as physical limits

Do you have any SPECIAL/FREAKY Abilities 8D?
Oh baby... I'm pretty fucking limber. Long tongue. Double jointed. Dexterity.

Do you have any allergies?
Bees, latex and penicillin

Are you the first, middle, last, or only child? And who are your siblings?
I'm an only child.

How many cousins do you have? Big family?
1 on dad's, like 2 blood-related on my mom's

Do you WANT to have children? If so how many?
I want to have 17 kids. Well... I'd settle for 2 or 3. Maybe. I'd stop if I got boy and girl as my first 2. Or maybe 2 boys because I couldn't risk having 3 boys oh my god I'd make them into a superhero team

What was your dream job when you were a kid?
DOKTOR or NURSE. Surprising, yeah.

What is your dream job now?
Err, I'd like to be a pediatric Emergency Department nurse. I'd have just said ED normally but I REALLY don't want erectile dysfunction being read out of that statement XD

What are your current responsibilities?
FIND A JERB

~*Food*~

What item of food would you eat the most of?
Usually, pineapple. though if we're tlaking styles, Italian, Mexican and Chinese food. And sushi oh my god the taste of fish on my tongue is s-- okay that sounds kinky

What is your favourite flavour ever?
uhhh... I think I like cherry, orange, blue raspberry, honey mustard, and sweet-and-sour sauce. In no order. I like sweet and tangy mixes.

Do you like Meat?
as long as the texture is alright. Nothing mooshy.

What do you usually eat for Breakfast?
A scoff and a cup of coffee (I know, it's bad for me). If I eat anything, cold cereal because oatmeal makes me poop.

What is your favourite dinner meal?
Italian-- nothing like eating sloppy tomato-y goodness and winding down in a bath or shower then drawing or reading and going to fap my dick off sleep

What foods do you HATE?
My mom's rice, my mom's spaghetti, boiled meats, anything that resembles booger consistency

What would be your last meal?
Roasted pineapple and sweet and sour chicken with extra onions and peppers and a smoothie or frappe and a goat cheese and sundried tomato and basil chicken dish and maybe a poblano relleno. I plan on dying so fuck calories.

Do you like any 'freaky' food combinations?
uhhh... I like sushi and I also like random foods, but I am funny about mixing stuff. Except I will put ketchup on eggs. Or grape jelly and scrambled eggs. Or jelly in grits. or an egg, sunny side up in grits.


~*Clothing/Style*~

What is your general fashion style? (eg: punk, glam, sporty, girly etc)
Frat-tastic

What item of clothing do you wear the most?
Shorts and a polo shirt

Pants or skirts/dresses?
Pants! I'd fucking rock a kilt though

How much of your skin do you like to show/cover up?
I like my thighs to be covered all the time. Otherwise, ehh. I can be nearly nekkid and not give a fuck.

What items of jewelery do you wear most?
I wear my FISH necklace-- "fuck it shit happens". Reminds me to chill out sometimes.

What item can you NOT leave your house without?
Pants on my dick and my keys and wallet.

Hair up or Hair down?
Gone

~* Life Style*~

What time do you usually wake up?
Until I get a job? WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT (around 10 AM usually)

What time do you usually go to sleep?
LATE

How often do you bathe/shower?
once or twice a day typically. On a bad day, it could be often to try and get myself comfortable-feeling.

Do you exercise regularly?
Not as much as I used to, but every other day yah

How often do you go out drinking?
Too much sometimes. I need to pace myself and if I go to a party, I WILL drink too much.

What do you do most in your spare time?
FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP I mean art and videogames >.>

How many pets have you had in your life? (not including farm animals/live-stock)
Juan, his name was Belvedere

How many houses have you lived in in your life?
One again

What sort of 'vehicle' do you own?
My Toyota Solara "Elle". She has a big ass.

What's your current job?
Unemployed murse


~*Your Favorite-?*~

Color(s): Blue and green
Animal: Roo, otters, doggies
Season: Fall
Scenery: BEACH PLEASE
Plant/flower: uhhh palm trees? I'll say orchids for flowers because they are so "lol fuck logic"
Sweet/treat: Pineapple oh my god
Game: Sex? Oh no I never played that in multiplayer so I don't know. Let's just say I am unable to pick one.
Sport: Playing? anything where I can tackle people or swim.
Shop: Uhh... gadget shops or electronics
Brand: Clothes? Nautica and Sperry. Idk.
Style of music: ROK

Favourite Songs: Everlong, Foo Fighters
Favourite Movies: Maybe Willy Wonka still, but I really liked the King's Speech.
Favourite TV shows: DOCTOR WHO
Favourite Animes: Any one that's ending so I can celebrate they're ending.
Favourite Books: uhhhh... I'm dyslexic. But I could just say I liked Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz for just derp reads.
Favourite Ships/Pairings: Yachts housed by scantily-clad bi-curious redhead women with long legs and flexibility?
Favourite place to Holiday/visit: THE BEACH. ANY BEACH.
Favourite place to relax/feel free: Anywhere I can sit and scratch in confidence I won't be fussed at, lol

~*Ideals in the Opposite Sex*~

Height: I like taller, maybe right around 6'?
Weight: I like a tummy and skinny legs, but NO SKELETONS. I'm more forgiving on a little pudge compared to skeletor.
Body shape: Boobs are alright, tight butt, long legs, tight butt. a nice... firm butt and...legs and...
Hair colour/style: Redheads are somurr. I don't care though really, lol
Eye colour: Blue or green, definitely. but it's not a dealbreaker.
Style: Uhh... Tomboyish? that's kinda hot. But can be girly too when she dresses up. I don't really care, lol.
Personality traits:Patient, NOT A SADISTIC LYING PSYCHOCUNT? Also pantience is important in dealing with me. Smarts are a definite plus.

~*Ideals in the SAME Sex*~
If I were a faggot:

Height: Shorter than me. I'd be topping. Motherfucker.
Weight: Someone I could man-handle. pick up and shit. Be gay with. Fuck up the ass.
Body shape: muscles, but still weaker than me so I can correct a bitch.
Hair color/style: Shaggy? lol idk
Eye color: don't give a fuck, lol
Style: lol couldn't care less.
Personality traits: horny, jokey, able to shut the fuck up and get drilled

:V


~*what's the last -*~

Time you laughed: about 15 minutes ago. I farted and it was musical. Deal with it.
Cried: Earlier tonight.
Screamed: Probably when I was drunk. Or screaming while home alone because lol.
Shared: I NEVER SHARE
The last person you talked to: uhh... it's been a while. Maybe outside of my parents, it was probably... my friend that's now a nurse.
Person to call you: Lol no one.
Person you yelled at: idk-- was probably drunk and joking.
Person you told them you loved: lol... I don't know. I don't tell that to anyone.
Time you acted childish: probably me attempting to fart again and make it sound musical.. so about 2 minutes ago when typing that.
Food you've eaten: Veal Paermesean
Book you've read: Dynamic Anatomy. or maybe a self-help book.
Shop you entered: Walgreen's
Thing you regret doing: falling in a serious crush with someone.
Thing you watched on TV: myself playing videogames.
Comment you squee-d over: I don't squee. Men don't squee.
Person you mentally hugged: uhh... I think it might have been Tango?
Thing you wrote? (other than this meme): FB comment?
Thing you drew: drawing with a huge ink splotch on it now.
Thing you read: Previous sentence.

~*Can You-*~

Do a handstand: Suck my dick
Raise one eyebrow and not the other: yes, also you still aren't sucking my dick.
Dance: I would if you sucked my dick
Sing: I sing well. I'll sing you a song after my cock is officially sucked.
Whistle: mhmm, now blow me.
Cook: I cannot cook while receiving oral.
Speak a different language: Spanish, the language of SUCK MY COCK ALREADY
Do any magic Tricks: nope.
Put together DIY boxed furniture: Yep
Use Power tools: drills
Write a Resume: ohgodyeah
Rollerblade:nope
Skateboard: landsurfing is fail for me
Surf: Yep, and I'm not super good but lol I can and love to.
Navigate: Hellz yeah
Survive in the Wild: a couple days
Survive without your cell phone: Haha yeah...
Survive without your internet: Challenging, but yeah I guess for a while.

~*Randomly*~

What are you wearing right now?
Boxers.

How do you feel right now?
Exhausted

Did you brush your teeth today D<?
Twice even!

One RANDOM fact about you:
Pineapple