So the past few days I have revisited something I enjoyed when I was a child and I have been watching it. Youtube has full episodes! "Little House on the Prairie". That show is so nice and it helps you forget about all the shit that is going on, even if it is only for 45 minutes. The show is just so heartwarming and some of it is so cute! it's funny when I re-watch these shows I realize how much of an influence it was on me growing up. Some of the things Laura or her father talked about, I hear myself saying to others. XD


Also I have started writing Ceres' past story finally.Tho it is more for my reference and my friend who is helping me with the comic so I don't think I will be posting it here, at least not until the comic is published. It will be in the special edition copy XD

---

Long vent commences here

---

I have not been updating anything for a while because I have slipped into depression pretty badly again and it's been a rough month for me. I got a job around the end of August that I was so proud of and everyone of my friends and family were so proud and then I lost it only after being there for 4 weeks. I have been avoiding many of my friends and I have not been able to draw because it upset me so much. For the first week of loosing the job I was crying almost everyday, I HATE crying. I had no motivation to do anything, the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning were my two little birds (I have decided to call them Houdini and Dusty). Those birds needed my attention every morning so I made myself get up.
I have been getting help with some specialists that help me find where I want to take my life and they all seem to like my art so they are going to try to help me with that. I am going to be looking into self employment and they are going to set me up to see if I can do it.
I am tired of being the pee-on, I want to be my own boss, I am sick of being let down by people and employers because I learn differently then your average person, I have anxiety and most jobs I have worked were no good for my anxiety. I am not saying I am giving up completely with working under people but until I can get a steady income from whatever I end up doing, I will have to deal with the shit in the workplace a little bit longer.
If you are wondering what it is that caused me to loose this job is that the lady who hired me on, even tho I told her I had no training in doing design for print, but I could learn. So what she always said was "Google it" and that really ticked me off. I learn better when someone sits with me and shows me how to do things; reading things and watching tutorials do not work for me... I would have still had the job if she sat down with me on the slowest days and showed me how to set things up for print, and I was not great with the math that was all, but instead she would run off or sit and play Plants Vs Zombies at her desk... So now I am starting to get mad and feeling less sad.


I am still feeling pretty depressed but not nearly as bad as I was earlier this month. Watching copious amounts of Family Feud, Little House on the Prairie, and going to the people who are helping me out has definantly helped to lift me out of this gloomy mood, but until I have a good job settled I don't think I will be truly happy. I want a good job, a good mate and I want a little one of my own. :(