My entire life I've just been trying to fit in.
13 years ago
I've been trying to keep this in the back of my mind for so long. I just can't do that anymore. I've been questioning my sexuality since I started middle school. I finally just labelled myself as bisexual because I knew for certain I liked girls.
Lately, I've been doing so much thinking and I'm still questioning what I am. Most of the time I don't think I'm sexually attracted to men at all. I've been denying it thought for a very long time. It hurts me a lot to have those thoughts and I know that's wrong. There's is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, I know this. But why can't I accept myself for it? I'm so confused. I know I'm still young but I so desperately want to figure myself out.
I've always wanted to fit in and I feel like if I really am gay, so many people will look at me different. I'm so terrified to admit it, not only to myself. I wish this wasn't so confusing or was much more normal than people see it. I just wanted to figure myself out...
I hardly know what I'm saying, I can't expect you all to know either... I just need to finally say this outside of my mind...
Thoughts are welcome but please let them be positive. I'm scared enough as it is.
Edit:I tried to talked to my best friend about this and all he did was get mad and didn't believe me. This only strengthens the fear I have... He doesn't even understand. It's not like I say this all the time and take it back. I've never talked about it... And now I want to but I have no one.
FA+

I like to use the Kinsey scale- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
and I'd say that I'm like a 1-2 or so. maybe you're a 5 or 6? maybe it's changed over time!
it might just take a little time to get used to thinking of yourself under a different 'label'
don't be afraid of who you are