.. "You blood-pressure is grotesquely high!" :/

Alright, so I might be dying.
Just kidding.
We all are.

But I've been thinking about it alot ever since my father passed away.
That whatever little time I might have on earth, I should be spending it on doing the things I love.
So what is it I really want to do?
Is it to do my duty and wake up early, force my husk to some place I despise, to work with people that make me uneasy - just to make money for somebody else?
Or is it to go back to studying, only to do the same soul-crushing routine as mentioned above ?
Or maybe... just maybe.. I could say "fuck this." and do something I might actually enjoy...

All I really want to do lately is to grow, be creative, spend time with loved ones and to be surrounded by animals and nature.
This has lead me to seriously consider moving out on the country-side. More specifically; close to an old hippie commune (that way I, there's no way I could get bored ;) )
It's so tempting...

Sorry about my ramblings. Life and death just fills up my mind-space alot lately.