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We are who we are, or: Why I play a herm on the internet
13 years ago
General
There was a time where the thought of playing a woman online was crazy to me, I was a guy, I played a guy. My first 'Furry' character was Kit, a bear/fox hybrid that I played on a beseen chartoom called Miss Sonic's Chat AKA Missy's Sonic Chat AKA MSC, this was way back in the day circa 1996ish when I was still in high school. Back then I had a few 'internet girlfriends', not at the same time mind you, I’m not that much of a pimp, One of these girls was the one who introduced me to the concept of one sex role-playing the other. I wish I could say I handled the revealing of my then girlfriend at the time that she was a boy well, but back then I was very very green. I flipped out, raged and tore into this person who cared enough about me to reveal their true self. I acted like a child which is what I was at the time, not thinking past my own knee-jerk, confused revulsion. I wish I could find that person again to say I’m sorry and to thank them for planting that little seed in my brain which eventually made me into what I am today.
So to get into the meat of this whole journal, why do I play a herm? Well one answer would be that I identify with the concept of being both male and female at the same time. To clarify, I frequently find myself thinking more on the feminine side of things. I hold friendships and lovers mostly as I think a woman would; I say mostly because I do enjoy my male side to some extent, I love my dick, what can I say? But, on the other hand I wish with my heart of hearts that I was born a female, I want an attractively curvy body, breasts, and yes even a vagina, periods, cramps, births and all. Right now I’m with an amazing Trans woman whom I love and admire for all that she goes though mentally and physically to an extent that I can't even begin to imagine. And yet still I’m a bit jealous of her, in only that she's taken the real life steps to become her true self and I can only role-play it.
I play a herm because it feels the most like me, the true me. If there was a mirror that shows your true self, First: I'd find a way to steal it, Second: it'd show me as a woman with manly parts dangling between my legs. I always as a rule keep my herms rooted in some realistic proportions as well, I'm not knocking anyone who likes hyper but it's just not my thing, the only time my characters have large genitals are as a joke or if it makes sense for the species, such as horses and the like. I think what i'm trying to accomplish with this journal is to show that I don't play a hermaphrodite for sex, don't ask me why I felt the need to make a huge journal about it but I just felt the need to justify my own existence maybe. I love herms, I love the idea of them, I love seeing them in all shapes and sizes, species and orientation and they help me feel a little bit normal in my own head which I guess is the best part about it, having that mental outlet.
Anyways, I’m losing steam here, not sure what else to say, thank you those that read through this rambling stream of consciousness, maybe I’ll revisit this once I can organize my thoughts better.
TL;DR: I like hermaphrodites.
So to get into the meat of this whole journal, why do I play a herm? Well one answer would be that I identify with the concept of being both male and female at the same time. To clarify, I frequently find myself thinking more on the feminine side of things. I hold friendships and lovers mostly as I think a woman would; I say mostly because I do enjoy my male side to some extent, I love my dick, what can I say? But, on the other hand I wish with my heart of hearts that I was born a female, I want an attractively curvy body, breasts, and yes even a vagina, periods, cramps, births and all. Right now I’m with an amazing Trans woman whom I love and admire for all that she goes though mentally and physically to an extent that I can't even begin to imagine. And yet still I’m a bit jealous of her, in only that she's taken the real life steps to become her true self and I can only role-play it.
I play a herm because it feels the most like me, the true me. If there was a mirror that shows your true self, First: I'd find a way to steal it, Second: it'd show me as a woman with manly parts dangling between my legs. I always as a rule keep my herms rooted in some realistic proportions as well, I'm not knocking anyone who likes hyper but it's just not my thing, the only time my characters have large genitals are as a joke or if it makes sense for the species, such as horses and the like. I think what i'm trying to accomplish with this journal is to show that I don't play a hermaphrodite for sex, don't ask me why I felt the need to make a huge journal about it but I just felt the need to justify my own existence maybe. I love herms, I love the idea of them, I love seeing them in all shapes and sizes, species and orientation and they help me feel a little bit normal in my own head which I guess is the best part about it, having that mental outlet.
Anyways, I’m losing steam here, not sure what else to say, thank you those that read through this rambling stream of consciousness, maybe I’ll revisit this once I can organize my thoughts better.
TL;DR: I like hermaphrodites.
(And, oddly enough, I'm in love with a trans too, and I'm friends with a few others. Verda (<3) once said I'm a magnet for them. XD)
Though my reasons can get quite a bit more complex.
Some I won't go into cuz I don't want the "you're crazy!" look I get when I tell people.
XD
Though, I can say, I was raised without a father in my life, with three sisters, by a single mother, so I guess you might say I grew up a bit more feminine.
Though, this makes it so that I make friends with girls a bit easier than most.
;p
I get the "why don't you just play a male/female character!?" a lot.
And to that, I say, "True, I play a good deal of feminine characters, but I'm just not willing to let go of that one thing that keeps me male. MY PENOR!!"
XD
I also go for realistic proportions.
My largest "male specimen" on a character, outside of an equine, is about nine inches, cuz you know what, it's not the size, it really is how you use it.
;p
Same with breasts, barring Talara, who takes after her mother, the largest size my characters have is a 34D.
So, yeah, I agree.
Course I still take a lot of flak from the herm haters.
;p
I play herms because I'm an Androgene - I don't particularly relate to either sex and flow between the two based on mood.
You've always been an incredible person, remember that!
Man, thank you for sharing and being honest.
Thanks for sharing these feelings, and I'll hella support ya if anyone has anything to say negative to say about it <3
Named Gabby, 'cause that's what I remember your name as for some reason. Who is neat. And who I should really touch base with directly some time.