Bluh, I've just been so depressed the last week or so. So much BS building up, other BS being dredged back up, I kind of just want the world to leave me alone for a little while, but at the same time I desperately don't want to be alone, and the more I try to talk to people, the more alone I feel.

I need some heavy distractions.

I'm really hoping time sort of speeds forward to November, I'm gonna be heading to MFF for the first time, and the Friday of the convention is actually my birthday. I usually don't do anything or make any kind of thing out of my birthday, and for the most part I've been pretty okay with that, but I want to try and make it something special this year. Anyone else who is gonna be there should totally hit me up, it'll be a pretty fun time. I'll post another journal with more on that closer to the convention, one that's not all bogged down by emo stuff.

It just gets so tiring waiting for stuff to blow over and for things to get better, and feeling so utterly helpless to influence it. I'm by no means giving up or anything, I've always liked to think that as tough as life gets, I can always be tougher. Still, I just wish I could pull myself out of this.