FA+
Shop
Beating Will Continue, Until Morale Improves
13 years ago
I'm keeping this journal short. I've been getting my ass kicked and kicked bad. It seems I'm banded from working because of jail. Shit I got out in JULY! It's like I killed someone isn’t jail is supposed to help you, lol, no. I was in there for 5 months this last time. It was fighting and being depressed, depressed so bad that I wouldn't be able to stand, shake uncontrollably, passing out (not for long thank god), throwing up, heart murmurs and then right back to fighting because you can't cry in jail. I really thought I would die from the sadness. Lol, also let’s just say I can really really fight now, not like I couldn't before but I could probably take on Bain now. I have enough rage that's for sure. Enough of that shit though, on to the now. Lots of friends left me because my life is too sad. Some friends huh? Then again I see that they are only there for the good times, FUCK THEM!
Debit and all sorts of bills because I was in jail not able to take care of shit on the outside since I was in there helpless to do anything about it. The sad stories you just get nonstop in there. DEPRESSION, DEPRESSION, DEPRESSION. Nightmares were and are relentless about what my personal life was doing, that was a fun little hell in itself. (still fucked up from it) Once out I tried to pick life up. NOPE! I was stopped at every turn. I fell again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. And I guess my ex gave away all my belonging, not fucking cool. What should I do, keep god damn trying!
My art has improved and I’m going to lean on that hard. Can’t work so volunteering at my sisters elementary school. Holy shit our schools need help! Oh and for my rage, I ride my bike until the wheels fall off. Things are really really reallllllly bad but, if anyone can deal, IT'S ME!
Debit and all sorts of bills because I was in jail not able to take care of shit on the outside since I was in there helpless to do anything about it. The sad stories you just get nonstop in there. DEPRESSION, DEPRESSION, DEPRESSION. Nightmares were and are relentless about what my personal life was doing, that was a fun little hell in itself. (still fucked up from it) Once out I tried to pick life up. NOPE! I was stopped at every turn. I fell again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. And I guess my ex gave away all my belonging, not fucking cool. What should I do, keep god damn trying!
My art has improved and I’m going to lean on that hard. Can’t work so volunteering at my sisters elementary school. Holy shit our schools need help! Oh and for my rage, I ride my bike until the wheels fall off. Things are really really reallllllly bad but, if anyone can deal, IT'S ME!
But i have seen other persons ( rare cases ) like you, just totaly depressed, but they have friends who take care of them at this moment, the chance you don't have.
I just want to say, it's not finished, you can found one other person. It's hard to be at one other mind stade, but it's possible. Try to find hope again.
Like a child when he birth. But now you have experiences, and have to learn of them if you are wise. The life don't stop for that.
It's just one of the most hard in psychology and in life moment.
It's not the end, but it's hurt like explosion all seconds, it's hurt, but you can becaume more wise cause of that.