nightmares?

Yeah...it was like someone was holding me down and telling me to shut up, like I was worthless or only useful for certain things for them. It sounded like something my ex would have done to me...

to be honist, it sound like rape trama .... ......

I'm not if I can call it that...only because the night me and him first did something I wanted him to until I felt pain and I told him to stop and he didn't...

thats still rape (date rape to be exsact) but if you said no an he diidnt stop legaly it still rape.
*grabs u and holds u close* its not right.

*rest my head on you and closes my eyes* Yeah...I guess you can say I been having nightmares of just my ex hurting me...though it has nothing to do with worries about who I am with, because Deke is very loving and kind to me so I don't worry about him hurting me at all. Just I guess last night talking about that thing with my friend got to me, I had to bring up that the first time should be with someone you love and someone you know you trust. Sad part was back then I thought I knew my ex, instead I found out how much of him I didn't know and wasted six months of my life moving away the first time from my mother which in the end made me move back with her and move again from her a few months later to get away from the abuse

wow, ur almost as fucked up as me (no offence)*kisses u softly an pets ur fur*

*kisses back softly and snuggles close* Well I can't really say that, the thing was with my ex we knew each other a year and got to meet in person. Well I was very naive and a fool back then, I didn't think about the fact the guy who I saw a a father figure would try and fuck my mate in my own bedroom before we leave out of my mother's house and me being free. I know they were master and pet but me and his mate both agreed that me and my ex both have our first time together first, well after me and him broke up I found out the day before they picked me up my ex and him already had sex. *sighs* so my first two months spending time with my ex was horrible, I wasted my life, he wanted to hang out with his master more than me and all of that. He made me feel alone, when we got to spend time most of the time he tried to have me suck him off or something or sex, got on my nerves a lot. He would tell me I can't be dom since I am kind nature yet he never gave me a chance...no wait he did and told me I am too big but his master and bigger than me and he took it. I wanted to take my ex out to dinner and he told me "let's get it over already" yeah that made me feel good inside...

*holds you close* im so sorry man....

Its okay, I am feeling better *licks you softly and nuzzles* I am good

good

*smiles and rubs your head* hehe yup, you are one of the people I have to thank for helping me cheer up *smiles* thank you

^///^ im just glad ur fealin better

*smiles and rubs your cheek* hehe thank you, you are very sweet and caring

*nods* thank you, I will try to. I think I might know what it is, just last night talking to my friend about something reminded me something and it kind of reminded me of what happened with my ex before. Well more like the six months of my life I wasted and messed up

You're in my thoughts bro, stay strong alright?

*nods and hugs you* I will brother, thank you