FA+
Shop
Coming back
13 years ago
____________________________________________________________________
Fall is here and this year is slowly heading for the end and I can't wait for
it to officially be over. I got to be honest, I've never had to face such
struggles as the ones in this year and I'm still battling with the leftovers.
Things are better though, I am coming around, slowly. It's just so hard to
keep positive. Mom is recovering like I am but she has it worse, there aren't
going to be anymore surgeries or chemo or whatever but her and her body
are just still so weak and she struggles just to do normal things everyday.
It's hard to see her like this, she's been a hard worker all her life.
Anyway, now that the worse is over with mom I had time to really take in the
fact I'm going to be getting divorced. God, it fucks with me so badly sometimes.
Most of the year I couldn't focus on it or "deal" with the feelings ya know, because I
had to take care of mom but now it's coming in full force like a flood and I find
myself sobbing every time I get a moment alone.
Things need to get back to normal, I need to go back to drawing like I use too
I'm trying so hard to pick up where I left off even though I have to try to force it
out it's slowly coming back to me. Thank you all for the things youve said during
this year, I know I rarely updated or spoke back, I don't really feel I deserve it.
I just feel ashamed and guilty for disappearing for so long but I swear I'm coming
back, now, I will finish everything I owe and I will be uploading. I have plans to
reinvent myself soon, need a fresh start.. need to start over.. so badly, I think
it will help.
You can get through this, though it may not feel like it at times. You can make it, and you'll be stronger when it's done. *Offers a hug from a random stranger*
I have been changing it around of strange/creepy faces for a while, but changed to this most recently.
I'm glad your mother is doing better, lots of love and prayers going to her too :)
Just know that we will be here and ready and willing to give you support any way that it is possible to do so.
And thank you for the update, I was actually just wondering how you were doing last night, so it's really good to hear from you ^^
The changes your are going through are extremely tough and even though we dont talk much, i'm always here rooting for you! It saddens me as well to hear of the divorce, but i truly do believe that things happen for a reason. When something bad happens, i always think that there must be something better to come, even if it might take a while.
Do what you need to do to get through your troubles. Sometimes mulling things over and reinventing yourself, figuring where you want to be to move forward, etc. it really helps. I wish you luck! :D
If you ever need an ear, someone to talk too, for serious stuff or even just to have someone to talk to, a lighthearted chat, i'm here :3
I know you dont go on Ims much but if you just need something, feel free to note me or email me, anything like that :)
*Sends lots of huggles!*
Once you get back into the swing of it all, give us a poke and we'll catch up. It's been far too long c:
You are a strong person, remember that.
I'm happy to see the worst seems to be passing, although I wonder if its right to say that with the upcoming divorce. That sounds so tough and it is hard to imagine, but at the same time, always remember your friends love you. And we are here for you. Friends are different from spouses I know, but sometimes, such as now, that can be a good thing, even better in fact.
Remember you aren't alone, neither your divorce or inactivity here will change that.
I hope that made sense...I'm a little dizzy right now lol.
For me, when I'm feeling an intense emotion, usually anger, it inspires me to draw and practice drawing... but at the same time, it sort of handicaps me because I can't think straight or focus.
You shouldn't feel guilty for being away you had a damn good cause and I think everyone understands.
I'm looking forward to seeing your art again, I've sure missed it, but don't force yourself too hard, take the time you need =)
*offers slightly creepy stranger-on-the-internet hugs* =3
Wish all the best for you and your mom in recovery.
Good to have you back around. :)
You just focus on doing what you can not just for your Mom but for yourself. You and your mother are priority. Everything else can wait.
You certainly don't deserve any of it. :( Keep on looking up. <3