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The Minefield that is my Life
13 years ago
It seems that I find the thickest minefields possible, and lead those that I love and care about through them without consideration of their feelings or safety.
I had a great friend, who my mate and I enjoyed chatting with online greatly. He was really sweet, and had an exceptionally large heart. He was also lonely, and desired to be shown affection. I unwittingly mislead him into thinking that a Long Distance three way mateship was the answer to all his woes, and worries. I continued to play along with it, even though I never had any desire to do anymore long distance relationships. Until.....
Things started changing. He started to become involved deeply in my relationship with my RL mate. Wanting to be included in decisions about our relationship. Which is when I finally had to say STOP.
I ended it. I shut it down before it went any further. I was the jackass that couldn't live with what was happening. I hurt my good friend, and in the process hurt my mate, and for that in itself, I deserve to be alone.
I had a great friend, who my mate and I enjoyed chatting with online greatly. He was really sweet, and had an exceptionally large heart. He was also lonely, and desired to be shown affection. I unwittingly mislead him into thinking that a Long Distance three way mateship was the answer to all his woes, and worries. I continued to play along with it, even though I never had any desire to do anymore long distance relationships. Until.....
Things started changing. He started to become involved deeply in my relationship with my RL mate. Wanting to be included in decisions about our relationship. Which is when I finally had to say STOP.
I ended it. I shut it down before it went any further. I was the jackass that couldn't live with what was happening. I hurt my good friend, and in the process hurt my mate, and for that in itself, I deserve to be alone.
It's not your fault. You were just trying to comfort him. You couldn't have possibly predicted the future.
If people could, mistakes wouldn't exist.
I'm sure if they both love you, they'll come to understand.
Just don't beat yourself up over it. Can't tell you how many times I was in a situation like this.
Life is just a big guessing game. You just have to keep your head high. Things will work out for.
I'm sure you heard that saying, look before you leap.
That applies in situations like this.
Have as good a night as you can, and Xander and I will miss you guys.
You don't have to. I am still here dear. I feel like shit to have been the one to have to do this. Why did it have to go this far to begin with?