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Venting... You've been warned. :P
13 years ago
I just need to vent, so ignore this if you don't like/don't want to read this sort of thing.
I want a career that I can be proud of. I want to know what it's like to go to a workplace where I LIKE to go to 'work'. I went to college, got an education, graduated with honors, applied like a mad woman, and yet, I don't have a job in my field. I know the economy is shit, and there are many others that probably have more education than I do, who can't find work in their field either. It's become demotivating. I have no desire to design things, because I lack motivation. I have no inspiration. I feel like I've lost my way. I don't know how to get it back. On top of that, my graphics computer is dying on me, so it doesn't work right. This takes away from my time working on things I like to do. Now, I plan to use my income tax return to fund a new computer in the spring. That's a few months away. I have a thought in my head of having my own business, but you need capital for that. Adam and I are living ok, but we're kinda feeling like we're living paycheck to paycheck, with not a lot to put away. We're both trying to get into our desired fields, but things just seem to be conspiring against us.
In the meantime, I'm stuck working in security, in a place where I have no room for advancement, no benefits, and a supervisor that doesn't give two shits about the well-being or happiness of his staff. I work a retarded shift rotation, and I work nightshifts. I hate them. I've called the main office to try and get onto a dayshift, but I don't think they have any spots open right now. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy I even have a job, but it's draining me. I feel exhausted when I get home, and I have no desire to do anything. The apartment looks like a disaster zone because I'm too damn tired to keep up with things. Adam's back has been bugging him, and with him having fallen at work recently, he injured it, so by no fault of his own, he can't really help with a lot of the housework either. Totally not his fault. He feels horrible, and wants to help. I feel like a horrible person because I feel too tired to do things... it's a vicious cycle.
I'm just feeling a little run-down and demotivated, and I'm not sure where I've gone wrong or how to find my 'mo-jo' again.
If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to hear my ramblings and feelings.
I want a career that I can be proud of. I want to know what it's like to go to a workplace where I LIKE to go to 'work'. I went to college, got an education, graduated with honors, applied like a mad woman, and yet, I don't have a job in my field. I know the economy is shit, and there are many others that probably have more education than I do, who can't find work in their field either. It's become demotivating. I have no desire to design things, because I lack motivation. I have no inspiration. I feel like I've lost my way. I don't know how to get it back. On top of that, my graphics computer is dying on me, so it doesn't work right. This takes away from my time working on things I like to do. Now, I plan to use my income tax return to fund a new computer in the spring. That's a few months away. I have a thought in my head of having my own business, but you need capital for that. Adam and I are living ok, but we're kinda feeling like we're living paycheck to paycheck, with not a lot to put away. We're both trying to get into our desired fields, but things just seem to be conspiring against us.
In the meantime, I'm stuck working in security, in a place where I have no room for advancement, no benefits, and a supervisor that doesn't give two shits about the well-being or happiness of his staff. I work a retarded shift rotation, and I work nightshifts. I hate them. I've called the main office to try and get onto a dayshift, but I don't think they have any spots open right now. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy I even have a job, but it's draining me. I feel exhausted when I get home, and I have no desire to do anything. The apartment looks like a disaster zone because I'm too damn tired to keep up with things. Adam's back has been bugging him, and with him having fallen at work recently, he injured it, so by no fault of his own, he can't really help with a lot of the housework either. Totally not his fault. He feels horrible, and wants to help. I feel like a horrible person because I feel too tired to do things... it's a vicious cycle.
I'm just feeling a little run-down and demotivated, and I'm not sure where I've gone wrong or how to find my 'mo-jo' again.
If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to hear my ramblings and feelings.
I completely understand the issue of needing the job in your own field, it's difficult.
;_; we should have tea.
I really hope everything turns out well for you...that you get a job you enjoy, and that your computer (or new computer) can once again help you enjoy your free time/stuff you like to do.