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Sometimes I have bad days.
13 years ago
General
Not as in, I'm unhappy. I'm pretty happy today. I've had a nice day overall - hung out with ajna, got some Magic: the Gathering stuff, now I'm settled in at home to spend some time with carrotwolf and play some Dishonored.
But physically I fucking hate myself today.
I'm wearing two bras to try to minimize my boobs and it just isn't enough - I still feel like I have a couple major deformities on my chest that drive me insane. I feel top heavy, overweighted, and besides that my ass and tummy feel huge and I just feel unbelievably ugly.
It's been rainy all day so it's muggy. I've worn a hoodie all day anyway just because I can't STAND feeling like my boobs or tummy are visible. The two bras I'm wearing are a size too small - they're CRUSHED against my chest, which makes them sore, and they're extra tight around my ribcage so it's hard to breathe and my chest hurts. The thought of taking even one bra off makes me feel almost panicked.
I'm dieting, exercising, and trying to improve my posture. Nothing is working, or at least nothing feels like it's working.
:( I'm just gonna cut them off. Ugh ugh ugh.
But physically I fucking hate myself today.
I'm wearing two bras to try to minimize my boobs and it just isn't enough - I still feel like I have a couple major deformities on my chest that drive me insane. I feel top heavy, overweighted, and besides that my ass and tummy feel huge and I just feel unbelievably ugly.
It's been rainy all day so it's muggy. I've worn a hoodie all day anyway just because I can't STAND feeling like my boobs or tummy are visible. The two bras I'm wearing are a size too small - they're CRUSHED against my chest, which makes them sore, and they're extra tight around my ribcage so it's hard to breathe and my chest hurts. The thought of taking even one bra off makes me feel almost panicked.
I'm dieting, exercising, and trying to improve my posture. Nothing is working, or at least nothing feels like it's working.
:( I'm just gonna cut them off. Ugh ugh ugh.
*Deflates*
I want you to be happy.
We actually had a brief conversation when she asked me why I was wearing a hoodie. It was much worse this morning. At least around you I'm relaxed enough to take it off.
Also, a lot of people get something called "winter blues", and for whatever reason they feel more depressed when it's rainy and foggy outside. Maybe just the ambiance.
It's not a winter thing or a rain thing. Rainy weather makes me sleepy, but not sad.