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Body Modification
13 years ago
General
is probably my favorite thing in the world, right behind carrotwolf.
As we all know, I have some self-image issues. I have problems with my gender, my body type, and my body's malfunctions. I don't like being female, especially considering my chosen hobbies/careers, and my body's not real fond of it either - endometriosis, huge family history of breast cancer. My body type is exactly the opposite of what I'd like; heavyset, curvy, with enormous boobs. I'd like to be at least a little slimmer, with no boobs and less hips. My kidneys are broken, my uterus is broken, I'm allergic to a million things including fruit skin and milk.
But the one thing I can change, control, and conform is my skin.
I've had an obsession with tattoos and piercings that borders unhealthy for a long time, since around mid-high school. I always liked them beforehand but I lied about it because omfg God says it's wrong 8C I was a very Biblical kid. During high school, though, I started researching, learning, and slowly growing more and more obsessed with both covering my skin with art and with putting my own art on others' skin. The whole thing is perfectly ritualistic, just the right mix of pleasure and pain, and has that satisfying tinge of sacrifice that makes things so heartbreakingly addictive.
I've never been encouraged to pursue this interest before, really. My parents, of course, despised it (though my dad ended up relaxing a bit when he saw how serious I was about wanting to actually become a tattoo artist, and mostly supports me in it now). My little sister was horrified. My ex was tolerant until he figured out he couldn't control what I did or did not want, and more or less banned them. My friends were all outwardly encouraging, but none of them have ever shared enough of an interest for me to geek out about it with them - though diedre has always been very supportive and was the main factor in keeping me from falling to pieces when my last apprenticeship fell through.
Now I'm in a town pretty much surrounded with tattoo shops of varying levels, specialities, and overall settings. 83 carrotwolf has been incredible with it - while he grew up similarly fixated on being a good kid and never thought of himself as the type to get tattoos or piercings, he's been very brave. Maybe it started out as just being a fantastic, supportive boyfriend...telling me almost daily that I can do anything I want with my body and he'll still find me beautiful, spending hours talking with me (mostly listening to me talking in circles) about tattoos, piercings, possibilities, and plans. But I think now it's fair to say he's as addicted as I am, at least with piercings. And of course it's been awesome having ajna helping me with art and inspiration when it comes to the actual tattoos - she helped me design the sleeve I'm currently in the process of getting. (half of it was outlined tonight!)
So far, I've put a bunch of holes into my body and gotten two (well, one and a half?) tattoos.
The List (in order):
1) One lobe piercing in each ear. Not currently gauged or in use :(
2) One black pawprint on my inner right wrist.
3) One lower right lip piercing.
4) One vertical hood piercing. (google if you don't know, but it's NSFW.)
5) One tongue piercing.
6) One microdermal piercing on my upper right wrist.
7) (half outlined) One leopard-print spot half-sleeve tattoo, right upper arm.
I have a lot more planned out, and hopefully once I get the rest of my body in line (losing weight, getting toned, and working on boob reduction) I can post pictures and not want to die. :D
I'm so fucking happy. <3
As we all know, I have some self-image issues. I have problems with my gender, my body type, and my body's malfunctions. I don't like being female, especially considering my chosen hobbies/careers, and my body's not real fond of it either - endometriosis, huge family history of breast cancer. My body type is exactly the opposite of what I'd like; heavyset, curvy, with enormous boobs. I'd like to be at least a little slimmer, with no boobs and less hips. My kidneys are broken, my uterus is broken, I'm allergic to a million things including fruit skin and milk.
But the one thing I can change, control, and conform is my skin.
I've had an obsession with tattoos and piercings that borders unhealthy for a long time, since around mid-high school. I always liked them beforehand but I lied about it because omfg God says it's wrong 8C I was a very Biblical kid. During high school, though, I started researching, learning, and slowly growing more and more obsessed with both covering my skin with art and with putting my own art on others' skin. The whole thing is perfectly ritualistic, just the right mix of pleasure and pain, and has that satisfying tinge of sacrifice that makes things so heartbreakingly addictive.
I've never been encouraged to pursue this interest before, really. My parents, of course, despised it (though my dad ended up relaxing a bit when he saw how serious I was about wanting to actually become a tattoo artist, and mostly supports me in it now). My little sister was horrified. My ex was tolerant until he figured out he couldn't control what I did or did not want, and more or less banned them. My friends were all outwardly encouraging, but none of them have ever shared enough of an interest for me to geek out about it with them - though diedre has always been very supportive and was the main factor in keeping me from falling to pieces when my last apprenticeship fell through.
Now I'm in a town pretty much surrounded with tattoo shops of varying levels, specialities, and overall settings. 83 carrotwolf has been incredible with it - while he grew up similarly fixated on being a good kid and never thought of himself as the type to get tattoos or piercings, he's been very brave. Maybe it started out as just being a fantastic, supportive boyfriend...telling me almost daily that I can do anything I want with my body and he'll still find me beautiful, spending hours talking with me (mostly listening to me talking in circles) about tattoos, piercings, possibilities, and plans. But I think now it's fair to say he's as addicted as I am, at least with piercings. And of course it's been awesome having ajna helping me with art and inspiration when it comes to the actual tattoos - she helped me design the sleeve I'm currently in the process of getting. (half of it was outlined tonight!)
So far, I've put a bunch of holes into my body and gotten two (well, one and a half?) tattoos.
The List (in order):
1) One lobe piercing in each ear. Not currently gauged or in use :(
2) One black pawprint on my inner right wrist.
3) One lower right lip piercing.
4) One vertical hood piercing. (google if you don't know, but it's NSFW.)
5) One tongue piercing.
6) One microdermal piercing on my upper right wrist.
7) (half outlined) One leopard-print spot half-sleeve tattoo, right upper arm.
I have a lot more planned out, and hopefully once I get the rest of my body in line (losing weight, getting toned, and working on boob reduction) I can post pictures and not want to die. :D
I'm so fucking happy. <3
I got it done with a very close friend, who at the time was terrified of needles. She got hers done, then I hopped up on the chair for my turn. Meanwhile I was talking her through a slight panic attack, trying to keep her calm, since she looked like she might pass out. At one point, the guy stopped what he was doing and I told him he could go ahead, I was ready whenever. And he just glared at me and said "you're done, you can get up whenever." He'd done it and I'd never even noticed. :'3 I didn't bleed at all, it didn't ache at all (just a few little twinges when it got twisted once in awhile for the first week or so). It's still super comfortable.
My dermal, on the other hand, bled like fucking crazy. I was literally GUSHING blood, it was dripping onto the floor, it was NUTS.
I felt absolutely nothing. :I I may have just still been high from the tattoo, but I was waiting for pain and the only time I felt anything was when he twisted the jewelry into place. The actual cut didn't feel like anything at all. Weirdest sensation ever.
J/K :p Always thought your paw tattoo idea was pretty cool. I've just never been much into permanent or semipermanent body modification. Was with a friend who got her septum pierced once though. That was fun, yet oddly anticlimactic XD