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The Silent Lucidity
13 years ago
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXNfqkvaXvc
*You see my head down, little tears fall, I look up noticing you guys standing there* Oh...hey guys...hows you all? Me? Heh....just hunky-doory....*sniffs*...I just hungout with "My Poison"....and well....I tried making my attempt to get back with her by walking her home....the first 2 blocks she said "If this is your master plan to get back with me, its not gonna work." .....Then all of a sudden.....something happened in my heart....something went "snap".....but not only did my heart snap in half.....but my brain cells came together for the first time....and made me realize....*sniffs twice* their is no hope for me....and what I mean by that, is not having a nice girlfriend...the classic first car...or trying to make my life better and easier...but I guess its all came together...that I need to give up on EVERYTHING...I've been waiting...and waiting....for the right girl....and I'm tired of waiting...all my buddies have girlfriends...except me....they call me "The Loner".....but I know they're messing around...quiet funny...how everybody I've met....say I'm a really unique and great kid and that I desirve better...I actually find that true...but in this world....and in this time or era as you may call it...when your chubby....autistic....a gear head....a furry...and an old school kid....everyone looks at you....and they say...."Good luck having in good life, retard."....and when your like me....you know.....nothing else matters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcbAibPA2yY
*You see my head down, little tears fall, I look up noticing you guys standing there* Oh...hey guys...hows you all? Me? Heh....just hunky-doory....*sniffs*...I just hungout with "My Poison"....and well....I tried making my attempt to get back with her by walking her home....the first 2 blocks she said "If this is your master plan to get back with me, its not gonna work." .....Then all of a sudden.....something happened in my heart....something went "snap".....but not only did my heart snap in half.....but my brain cells came together for the first time....and made me realize....*sniffs twice* their is no hope for me....and what I mean by that, is not having a nice girlfriend...the classic first car...or trying to make my life better and easier...but I guess its all came together...that I need to give up on EVERYTHING...I've been waiting...and waiting....for the right girl....and I'm tired of waiting...all my buddies have girlfriends...except me....they call me "The Loner".....but I know they're messing around...quiet funny...how everybody I've met....say I'm a really unique and great kid and that I desirve better...I actually find that true...but in this world....and in this time or era as you may call it...when your chubby....autistic....a gear head....a furry...and an old school kid....everyone looks at you....and they say...."Good luck having in good life, retard."....and when your like me....you know.....nothing else matters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcbAibPA2yY
Don't let them get you down buddy, life is shitty but it doesn't mean we can't overcome the boundaries. I'm autistic and an first-time uncle, for the first time I feel there might be hope. 27 years of struggling, but I'm finally on the right track thanks to finding folks who could help me. Don't let one person ruin your dreams, I've had many people talk me out of things I wanted to do with my life. I've made a conscious choice to continue pursuing what feels right for me and said the heck with everything else.
For people with AS Love is a tough game, I've tried dating another AS and it ended disastrously. She was incredibly jealous of the fact I appear more socialized and had "friends". She couldn't go out because of noise sensitivity, I'm used to the noise having had to adjust to it over time. In the end we fought most about how I had all these "friends" and how I could talk to people. Honestly, it wasn't til high school that I learned how to make proper eye contact during my speech class. Even had to train myself to appear more lively during interviews for work, that wasn't a cake walk either XD. Honestly, I rarely associate with people outside of work and have a few friends out here.
The ones I'm attached to most are here (listed up on my page under DA buddies), they are awesome :D. I'm glad to know other AS people, like Ardrich Keybus, he's awesome :D. And it's good to know another old school kid, because I was feeling lonely there XD. I'm a gearhead at heart, I'm in love with 1950's hot-rods XD.
Life's gonna kick us in the teeth, but it's best to dust off and get going again. We'll find that missing piece when we least expect it. ^^