Even hours later I still feel this weight... an ache within... it almost feels worse, to be honest. I dunno... maybe I shouldn't even be writing this... I mean... as I do... I find I don't really have that much more to actually say... it's just... no matter the distraction... I still feel pain. *Sigh* Not even the prospect of the coming laptop thrills me as it did. I'm... not even all that sure I'll use it right away as I had originally thought... I just... dunno... I know this doesn't really affect any of you reading this... the vent is mostly for me. I mean... I can't express my emotion through art... and stories just don't get it out all the way... so... I write this... and I am sorry to bother you all with it... I'm sure it only makes things worse getting a bunch of others involved...

Couldn't even find the motivation to play my games, a past-time I had found while waiting for the laptop before now... that and doing the job hunting and spending time with my little one anyways... but still... I just... I feel dangerously low... and my thoughts wander to great deals of unpleasantness... you don't even wanna know. : / At any rate... I guess this helped... some... maybe... but... I still feel like crap. : / Bah... okay, I'll stop annoying you all now... v.v