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relationshis are confusing.....idk what to do
13 years ago
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as some as you may know, me and mate have not been doing so well.
i had a talk with him and explained that i wasn't happy with his anger and how mean he's being, and so did my mother but things havn't gotten better....in fact theyve gotten worse.....he's always angry about something, no matter how hard i try to make him happy. it's depressing knowing you can't bring happiness to your mate. tonite he actually scared me, he was acting crazy, not good crazy like wtf is wrong with you crazy, at work and i just didn't know what to do. he always complains that nothing in his life is good, life sucks i hate my life blah blah blah and I'm like, how the hell am i supposed to feel? i'm a part of your life so i must suck then. 2 years and his anxiety and depression have only gotten worse......he's drinking now. he's got it in his mind that if he's upset or sad he should drink to make him feel better......i know what alchol can do to someone, everyone in my family, cept my parents, are alcoholics. so i'm getting worried, if he's drinking now, how long will it be until he goes back to weed and forgets to tell me one day and kills me because i'm deathly allergic to it. i don't want to be in this situation, and in my heart i can feel my love for him slipping.
and on the other side of the coin me and the other guy are becoming extremely close and i am falling for him so hard. he reminds me how to be happy and enjoy life and what it's like to be with someone who cares....he's kind and caring, and the way he talks to me makes me feel so important to him. we like the exact same music, which is a problem with my current mate who absolutely refuses to listen to my music at all which makes me sad because it's a HUGE part of who i am and i can't share that him. however the other guy and i can sit in the car and sing the songs together because he loves it as much as i do. he's gorgeous and smart. he's been through some pretty horrible hardships like my current mate yet he isn't bitter about it. at least not when i'm around, he lets it go so we can just enjoy each others company. he's showing me what it's like to truely enjoy life, to have someone care about you and to spend time with. i love the fact that he's willing to sit and draw with me even though he's not the best artist, he still tries so hard.my current mate wants nothing to do with it.....sigh this guy is just so awesome to me...
sigh i'm reaching the point of no return, where i choose one and lose the other forever :(
ok there's my poor me rant....
i had a talk with him and explained that i wasn't happy with his anger and how mean he's being, and so did my mother but things havn't gotten better....in fact theyve gotten worse.....he's always angry about something, no matter how hard i try to make him happy. it's depressing knowing you can't bring happiness to your mate. tonite he actually scared me, he was acting crazy, not good crazy like wtf is wrong with you crazy, at work and i just didn't know what to do. he always complains that nothing in his life is good, life sucks i hate my life blah blah blah and I'm like, how the hell am i supposed to feel? i'm a part of your life so i must suck then. 2 years and his anxiety and depression have only gotten worse......he's drinking now. he's got it in his mind that if he's upset or sad he should drink to make him feel better......i know what alchol can do to someone, everyone in my family, cept my parents, are alcoholics. so i'm getting worried, if he's drinking now, how long will it be until he goes back to weed and forgets to tell me one day and kills me because i'm deathly allergic to it. i don't want to be in this situation, and in my heart i can feel my love for him slipping.
and on the other side of the coin me and the other guy are becoming extremely close and i am falling for him so hard. he reminds me how to be happy and enjoy life and what it's like to be with someone who cares....he's kind and caring, and the way he talks to me makes me feel so important to him. we like the exact same music, which is a problem with my current mate who absolutely refuses to listen to my music at all which makes me sad because it's a HUGE part of who i am and i can't share that him. however the other guy and i can sit in the car and sing the songs together because he loves it as much as i do. he's gorgeous and smart. he's been through some pretty horrible hardships like my current mate yet he isn't bitter about it. at least not when i'm around, he lets it go so we can just enjoy each others company. he's showing me what it's like to truely enjoy life, to have someone care about you and to spend time with. i love the fact that he's willing to sit and draw with me even though he's not the best artist, he still tries so hard.my current mate wants nothing to do with it.....sigh this guy is just so awesome to me...
sigh i'm reaching the point of no return, where i choose one and lose the other forever :(
ok there's my poor me rant....
It's good that you are becoming close friends with the other guy. Just remember not to cross certain lines, as you are still in a rlationship. Also, make sure that the feelings you DO feel are in facr real and true. THIS is the confusing part. Because alot of people THINK they are falling for someone because they are giving them the positive attention they are lacking from their mate. And then the whole "rebound thing".
My overall advice: I'd get rid of my mate before he drags you down with him, or worse. Life is too short to deal with people like that, especially when you try to help him and he either ignores, shrugs it off, etc. With the other guy. Stay friends. Make sure that what you are starting to feel is real.
and i know that cheating is wrong and i never would do that, its horrible to be cheated on so i won't do it. but i do know i like him, because i'e know him for over 2 years, and i've always secretly liked him, i just didn't act upon it because i didn't feel he felt the same way. he just came back into my life at the exact right time, right when i feel like i have no hope, he comes to pick me up.
my parents wanted to buy him a ps3 for christmas.
but he wanted it NOW. i talked to him for 3 hours begging him to let them buy it, telling him to save his money and that he should spend it on the people who have bought him everything.
then he got mad at me that night because i couldn't stay long enough to have sex "so we could be close again".
i said to him....why do we have to have sex to be close?
isn't me being here with you enough?
i couldn't stay longer than 12 because i had school and work the next day.
and we left his work at 11.
he just decieded to dick around at his sisters work than to hang with me.
the next morning i found out my grandfather broke his hip and had been lying on the ground for an hour.
i was devestated because a broken hip is what started the death of my grandmother and i was terrified i didn't want to lose my only grandpa.
after i tell him this he texts me "is it ok if i let mom and dad buy me the ps3 and i buy myself an xbox?" i was like do whatever the fuck you want i don't care.
i told him multiple times that day about how worried i was, then he texts me saying, i bought the ps3 anyway, it's only fair because my sister wanted to buy it too. i was like fuck you too i don't give a shit i'm worried about my potential dying grandfather.
"do you think mom will be mad?" i said i'm pretty sure mom won't give a shit right now. "oh good :)" i was like, really dude? you're that fucking selfish?
then later that night when i got home my dad and i were discussing flying down to texas to be with him during the surgery the next day and he mentioned something about how selfish my boyfriend was and my mom started screaming at him and threatened to kick him out and my boyfriend didn't even care when i told him his stupid ps3 almost got my dad kicked out.
yesterday not once did he ask me how my grandfathers surgery went, all he asked me was to come over (he lives 30 min away) and help him get passes this level on darksiders.
i was like no fuck you i'm staying home to help with the remodel.
then he got me in trouble with my mom because i didn't invite him over.
i said if he wanted to come over he should of asked, he ususally doesn't like to come over when were working because he just gets mad at me for not cuddling him and watchin him play all my games.
i'm just really livid at him right now and he doesn't seem to get it.
Is your grandpa going to be ok?