So its my birthday in a week exactly and I came to realise when everybody was getting hyped up and excited by it that its never really been a thing for me. I never really celebrated my birthday. For me its always been a time for everybody to get together to listen to my grandparents point out how much I have sucked during the year.
This has been the first time I have ever been sort of happy for my birthday since now I have the ones I love to share it with...although its bittersweet when they cant be there with you in person. Sure its hard but if anything its giving me more drive to make sure the next one isnt like that. Next one, I plan for there to be party streamers and balloons and the like. I have never had a party like that before and I have never understood it. Birthdays have always felt like just a random reason to get something I need.
Maybe next year, I will see what all the fuss is about?