Talked to Tim today.
Talked about his condition.
I don't know if he's okay.

He lifted his head up and exposed the skin underneath his jaw.
It looked like a yellow sponge,
with acrid spit drooling out,
a couple needles hanging about.

I asked him if it hurt...

"Not much," he said,
"only if I start thinking about it too much,
then it itches."
Tim sighed.

The drool waggled as the recycled breath seeped through the porous skin,
and the metallic smell of death filled the chem-stained air.

Looked away from the disease and into Tim's dying eyes.

His pupils were not his,
they had gone yellow, and the iris' had gone black.
His eyes were shaped like a cat's,
but the sanguine eyebrows did not deceive,
for received was the frightened existentialist that Tim always was.


"How's your bad breath?" Tim asked.
Told him, "it's alright. Hasn't been acting up."

I didn't go to the doctor's to get it checked out last week. I did that just for you, Tim.

"Is the medication working?" Tim asked.
"Yeah," replied, "It neutralizes the smell good when someone eats onions. Can't smell a thing."

Tim coughs out a laugh, and a needle falls out.
He takes his bony fingers
and fumbles around with the pin.
The sharp edge sticks into his thumb,
and his eyes twitch.
It's stuck there for the moment,
and he uses this advantage
to pull it to his neck,
and quietly stick it in.

Some of the sponge falls away,
and lands in Tim's lap.

I feel my stomach churning.

my cell phone beeps
and i look at the text message
it's the doctor
he wants me
because i missed my bad-breath mint appointment.

"A year from now, I go back for my next check up," Tim says,
fuck
"April, they said that if I don't stabilize in a month, then they'll have to pull the plug."
stop talking about this
"I'll be alright, though."
just stop
"I just want to know if you'll be able to tell everyone?"
shit
"You know I'm weak, J-"

I get up and leave.

"J-"

Weekly check ins for bad breath.
Yearly check ins for the deterioration of the human body.
I don't remember the last time I went to therapy,
but I know that it's been about a decade, maybe more.

"I wanted to talk to you about your condition!
You never let me talk about it nowadays!
I don't think you're okay!"

---

(Shit, this is terrible)