FA+
Shop
I hate my life at times
17 years ago
Ok I like guys pretty much my best friends are of the male side of the species but ya'll are still so confusing to me (just as I am sure the females are confusing to the males) but still. Yes I have a child, No me and the father are not together BUT I have a BF. Right there you can see mostly a potential problem. But my BF is very open and very accepting and I know is trying very hard to understand me.
My ex (the father) slightly immature just got back from Iraq a week or so ago and wants to spend as much time with his daughter as possible which means he's gonna be around me as well cuz our child is very young and he hasn't seen her since she was maybe 6 months and now she's almost 2.
So first of yes my ex upsets me beyond beleif because of how he as treated me, the baby and girls in general (though most of his aren't too terrible smart anyways) the thought of him coming to hang with the baby and me stresses me out to were I am taking handfuls of excedrin to keep the migrain down, and I have to hold down vomit cuz of the stress enduced nausia. Cuz normally we don't see eye to eye and over the phone/email we can pretty much rip eachother apart. My BF knows all of this and so here is why he is confused and untrusting of me now which upsets me beyond belief, cuz I shoulda explained the situation fully instead of focusing on the "I hate him" part:
So the ex finally came to see his daughter and I was at work, he waited tell I got off work before he "said" he was gonna leave. so I got home and we talked "business" (baby stuff) and then I remembered I still had some of his boxes at my new place. So we decided to drive out there I was texting my BF to let him know what was going on so he didn't get too worried. So on our way back to the otherside of town he offers to have a couple of beers with me and I figure sure, we're getting along it'd be nice to talk to him some more and since he's gonna be around a lot more try to be actual friends instead of fake ones. So we head to the bar I tell my BF excatly what bar we are at incase he wants to pop in for like 10min (cuz I knew he couldn't hang out unfortunately cuz he was working on finals) and I was designated driver anyways cuz my toloerance is higher then my Ex's and I KNOW how he gets when he's been drinking too.
So I'm sad to say I did have a good time with my ex, it was almost like hanging with an old HS friend. And the thing is I've come to realize we have a love/hate relationship. When we aren't face to face the stresses of everything upsets us and cuz's us to fight and our history adds a fuel to that as well cuz we tend to pick on eachother. But we can be friendly face to face cuz we know that there is someone there that we can count on and that we know almost as well as ourselfs.
But I'd never go back to my ex no matter how much he says he's changed cuz I've heard that everytime we seperated and its never been true, plus even if he did I wouldn't because his family is horrible and I would NEVER want to be a part of something like that, PLUS I have a great boyfriend now that (I hope still) loves me and treats me with so much respect and spoils me so much and the thought of my ex coming between us just hurts. IDK I know pretty much all the guys will side with my BF in saying that its confusing and uncool and that he has all the right to not trust me. I just don't know what to do and if this even explains everything correctly and coherently.
SORRY bout the length I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this (not even my BF) and its eating away at me and I had to try to get my thoughts out coherently someway cuz usually I just ramble.
~<3Sizer
PS I'll start working on Request again soon I just know my life is hectic and busy now (as you can see/read)
My ex (the father) slightly immature just got back from Iraq a week or so ago and wants to spend as much time with his daughter as possible which means he's gonna be around me as well cuz our child is very young and he hasn't seen her since she was maybe 6 months and now she's almost 2.
So first of yes my ex upsets me beyond beleif because of how he as treated me, the baby and girls in general (though most of his aren't too terrible smart anyways) the thought of him coming to hang with the baby and me stresses me out to were I am taking handfuls of excedrin to keep the migrain down, and I have to hold down vomit cuz of the stress enduced nausia. Cuz normally we don't see eye to eye and over the phone/email we can pretty much rip eachother apart. My BF knows all of this and so here is why he is confused and untrusting of me now which upsets me beyond belief, cuz I shoulda explained the situation fully instead of focusing on the "I hate him" part:
So the ex finally came to see his daughter and I was at work, he waited tell I got off work before he "said" he was gonna leave. so I got home and we talked "business" (baby stuff) and then I remembered I still had some of his boxes at my new place. So we decided to drive out there I was texting my BF to let him know what was going on so he didn't get too worried. So on our way back to the otherside of town he offers to have a couple of beers with me and I figure sure, we're getting along it'd be nice to talk to him some more and since he's gonna be around a lot more try to be actual friends instead of fake ones. So we head to the bar I tell my BF excatly what bar we are at incase he wants to pop in for like 10min (cuz I knew he couldn't hang out unfortunately cuz he was working on finals) and I was designated driver anyways cuz my toloerance is higher then my Ex's and I KNOW how he gets when he's been drinking too.
So I'm sad to say I did have a good time with my ex, it was almost like hanging with an old HS friend. And the thing is I've come to realize we have a love/hate relationship. When we aren't face to face the stresses of everything upsets us and cuz's us to fight and our history adds a fuel to that as well cuz we tend to pick on eachother. But we can be friendly face to face cuz we know that there is someone there that we can count on and that we know almost as well as ourselfs.
But I'd never go back to my ex no matter how much he says he's changed cuz I've heard that everytime we seperated and its never been true, plus even if he did I wouldn't because his family is horrible and I would NEVER want to be a part of something like that, PLUS I have a great boyfriend now that (I hope still) loves me and treats me with so much respect and spoils me so much and the thought of my ex coming between us just hurts. IDK I know pretty much all the guys will side with my BF in saying that its confusing and uncool and that he has all the right to not trust me. I just don't know what to do and if this even explains everything correctly and coherently.
SORRY bout the length I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this (not even my BF) and its eating away at me and I had to try to get my thoughts out coherently someway cuz usually I just ramble.
~<3Sizer
PS I'll start working on Request again soon I just know my life is hectic and busy now (as you can see/read)
It 's always good to have both mother and dad in the kids lives, Even thow they are not together. Don't forget to let your boyfriend know that he's a important part of your daughters and your life too!
As long as you have faith in each other, There's nothing that can come in between you 2!
Now about your stress! I really get the picture you don't like him,but your friends. You got find away around this stress prob! Getting stress out isn't going to help anything. Stress can not only hurt the people you hate ,but also the people you love!
^-^ When stress comes around, Remeber one thing! You a have a boyfirend who loves you and your lovely daughter's ,So put your hope , love, and faith in them to help keep you strong! And just let stress fade away!
Well I hope that this little advice help you out ! ^-^ Sorry it's soooo long!
*can't spell*
~<3Sizer