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In the other's shoes'
13 years ago
You know I have so many pervy oc's
well i think this is doable
M'kay so here's the deal, when i was working on one of the raffle prizes (75% done btw)
a fun little idea crossed my mind about doing a little jender bener skit of allice and joseph........wich turned into a fullfledged story, here's it short....once they and the rest of the chars of my main story get the civilians out of infected zones (zombies ppl :P) they beleive they can't fight anymore. when they return to the safe zones and ask for leave and end up getting paid retirement. allice and joseph end up living together and get into a argument and at the end of the night they both seclude themselves to they're rooms and make a wish for the other to know what they're life was like. anywhome they don't switch bodies, but genders instead. They wake up and act freaked out for the first week and stay inside. eventually they call a person they can trust and go outside and
That I feel like a pimp
well i think this is doable
M'kay so here's the deal, when i was working on one of the raffle prizes (75% done btw)
a fun little idea crossed my mind about doing a little jender bener skit of allice and joseph........wich turned into a fullfledged story, here's it short....once they and the rest of the chars of my main story get the civilians out of infected zones (zombies ppl :P) they beleive they can't fight anymore. when they return to the safe zones and ask for leave and end up getting paid retirement. allice and joseph end up living together and get into a argument and at the end of the night they both seclude themselves to they're rooms and make a wish for the other to know what they're life was like. anywhome they don't switch bodies, but genders instead. They wake up and act freaked out for the first week and stay inside. eventually they call a person they can trust and go outside and
That I feel like a pimp
If the story feels thin to you, that's probably for one of two reasons; either there's not enough conflict, or the pacing is bad. These are both really hard things to balance, because too much conflict tires the reader out ... and if your pacing is too fast your reader will get confused and possibly not have time to get to know your character.
Here's my suggestion, based on your outline above :) This is just a suggestion, so don't feel obligated to use it -- you're making this thing, so you know best!
1. Maybe they shouldn't retire. I"m not sure one way or another, but if they have to go back into the military at some point (if they're just on leave) this gives them a time limit in which they have to figure their shit out and gives the reader a lot of, what're they going to do?! kind of feeling.
2. So they decide to spend it together, and they have an argument and everything you say happens -- the wish, etc. -- happens. They get gender flipped.
3. Maybe instead of having someone they can trust help them, they are forced to hide it. They try to figure it out and really have to depend on each-other a lot. This puts a lot of tension in the story and gives you a lot of opportunity for Drama with a capital D. they find people they can trust along the way and have "close calls" but give the characters some "alone time" with their problem first. This makes the problem feel a lot more personal.
4. Eventually they get found out. This would be the build up your whole story's getting to, you know, how does the world react to these two? See, the characters are sorting themselves out and figuring out how to accept themselves as who they have become -- at the same time the world around them has to figure them out and accept (or reject) them as well.
5. You decide what happens when the world finds out! Do they flee to someplace where nobody knows them and they can start over? Are they detained, jailed? Does someone give them the solution to put them back as they were? I dunno.
My thoughts anyway! Hopefully helpful :) I'm not so good at this either so take them or not as you please. I look forward to seeing what you make! :D
Don't worry about when it ends -- end it when it feels good to end it. It's a lot better to end a story "early" than to not end it at all. Its very unsatisfying to the reader and to you to leave it dangle. But if you end it early, there can always be a part 2, or even related stories that show different perspectives.
Anyway!! Good luck!!