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it's pretty obvious at this point...
17 years ago
...that I become something of a rambling lunatic when I'm intoxicated. You know what, that's totally fine with me. It's really the whole reason I drink*, so that i can experience the world from a sillier, mushier perspective. When that happens I start talking a lot, usually for the sheer joy of talking. (It's especially amusing because you know how bad I type? That's as bad as I talk. Or worse.)
Unfortunately, when I am drunk I often forget that I want to avoid making an idiot out of myself. Among other people who drink, they understand and can relate to the stupid silliness of my behavior. But when it comes to the friends and family who don't drink, more often than not I lose a lot of respect from them. More than a couple times I'll get online whilst drunk (as I tend to do) and end up talking to people who (sometimes subtly, sometimes directly) tell me I'm stupid for drinking alcohol at all. For the most part, their opinions are only born from ignorance or religious bias, but it still hurts, especially because I'm quite emotionally sensitive when I'm even a little tipsy.
The problem comes when I try to change my behavior so that these people will like me again. I'll rein in my silly ideas and feelings, and try to act sober, and try really hard to use correct grammar. And then I get mad at myself for being such a pussy. I'm a responsible person, I trust my own judgment, and if I enjoy something, I should let myself enjoy it. The people who tell me drinking is stupid, their arguments are either inane or don't apply to me**. So why do I care so much? I've tried to not let people's opinions affect the way I behave or what I believe, but in this case for some reason, it's really difficult to not feel crushed when someone loses the respect they used to have for me.
What do you guys think? Is keeping your relationships more important than the luxury of doing whatever you want to? It's kind of an idealism vs. practicality argument at this point, but let me know your thoughts on it.
* I know some people drink so they can have an excuse to lose their inhibitions, but I guess either I don't have any inhibitions, or they're so repressed that even when I'm drunk I can't realize them. (I do get a little less shy, but not much.)
** Just for the record, alcohol is not known or proven to permanently damage anyone's brain unless they are young and still developing. Also, despite alcohol's "judgment-impairing" qualities, I have never (nor will I ever) be so disconnected from my values that I would do something wrong or irresponsible while under its influence. Apparently that happens to some people sometimes, but either they have a dramatically different experience with alcohol than I do, or they are significantly weaker-willed.
Unfortunately, when I am drunk I often forget that I want to avoid making an idiot out of myself. Among other people who drink, they understand and can relate to the stupid silliness of my behavior. But when it comes to the friends and family who don't drink, more often than not I lose a lot of respect from them. More than a couple times I'll get online whilst drunk (as I tend to do) and end up talking to people who (sometimes subtly, sometimes directly) tell me I'm stupid for drinking alcohol at all. For the most part, their opinions are only born from ignorance or religious bias, but it still hurts, especially because I'm quite emotionally sensitive when I'm even a little tipsy.
The problem comes when I try to change my behavior so that these people will like me again. I'll rein in my silly ideas and feelings, and try to act sober, and try really hard to use correct grammar. And then I get mad at myself for being such a pussy. I'm a responsible person, I trust my own judgment, and if I enjoy something, I should let myself enjoy it. The people who tell me drinking is stupid, their arguments are either inane or don't apply to me**. So why do I care so much? I've tried to not let people's opinions affect the way I behave or what I believe, but in this case for some reason, it's really difficult to not feel crushed when someone loses the respect they used to have for me.
What do you guys think? Is keeping your relationships more important than the luxury of doing whatever you want to? It's kind of an idealism vs. practicality argument at this point, but let me know your thoughts on it.
* I know some people drink so they can have an excuse to lose their inhibitions, but I guess either I don't have any inhibitions, or they're so repressed that even when I'm drunk I can't realize them. (I do get a little less shy, but not much.)
** Just for the record, alcohol is not known or proven to permanently damage anyone's brain unless they are young and still developing. Also, despite alcohol's "judgment-impairing" qualities, I have never (nor will I ever) be so disconnected from my values that I would do something wrong or irresponsible while under its influence. Apparently that happens to some people sometimes, but either they have a dramatically different experience with alcohol than I do, or they are significantly weaker-willed.
Also, I totally agree with lots of points you bring up. Drinkining 'intolerance' is sorta misguided and biased. I don't become a total monster when I get drunk (or a bit high for that matter), but I get a bit silly and open up a lot more to people. I've never had anyone complain to me about my behavior while I was drunk, ever. Most people actually find me kinda funny X3
And yeah, I also think a lot of people have misconceptions about drinking. Most uniformed people will think that everyone who drinks will get all clumsy, rude, loud, and somehow transform into this drunk thing that nobody likes. The most that's ever really happened with me is that I get so giggly and tipsy that I become everyone's friend in the room. That, and I'm a lot more intimate with everyone when I'm drunk (I give at least a bajillion hugs before the night is over - heck, I even kiss the gurls in the room too).
As for alcohol (or even cannabis for that matter) impairing people's judgement, I don't know if that happens to me, like, at all. I do everything I already would sober, I just do it with more confidence, fun, and with a little less muscular control, hehe. And that's probably why 'acting sober' comes along easy for me; I just turn the fun down a bit, and calmly think myself sober.
One last thing: I also find it funny that people don't believe me when I say I remember everything I did when drunk.
If I'm in a bad mood, I find it pretty easy to act sober, but if I'm in a good mood and having fun then it's really really difficult! I always remember things when I'm drunk too.. well, sometimes I forget, but then remember it again later. :)
You sound a lot like me in a way. I do enjoy getting drunk and being flat out silly, yet I wouldn't go out and do something ridiculous because of the fact that I'm intoxicated. (Yes there are some crazy pics of me out there from back in the day, but most of that stuff I would have done sober too. x.x)
I've noticed that most people who have a problem with alchohol stem from something deeper. Example, my ex had a drunk for a mom. But the thing is, you shouldn't have to change anything about yourself to make others accept you. Though, it is much easier said than done.
There are some things that I'm against, me being raised religious and all. But to each their own. I usually look at the person, and not the things they do. It's too bad some people are so uptight that they just can't enjoy people for who they are.
That's why we drink it here
And when we're all gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.
Just because your friends don't like everything you do doesn't mean you should have to apologize to them. If they don't like you drunk, they don't have to be there or can just ignore you online. If you are an omnivore and have a vegan as a friend, you should be able to eat a honey-glazed ham when you feel like it and not feel guilty. You can even be happy while doing it. No apologies needed, and you can stay friends.
I'm not personally a fan of drinking alcoholic beverages (it has a lot to do with the creation process: grape juice that has gone bad, barley that has been soaked in water and gone bad, potatoes that have rotted and the juice run-off is collected, cactus bulb juice after it goes bad.) At the same time, get me and my brothers together with some A&W by the gallon: the pints start flowing freely and a good time is had by all. My youngest brother will drink you under the table
Ah, but I can agree that root beer is an excellent alternative. I didn't even know it came in gallons! XD
Thank you for the comments. You always cheer me right up.
By gone bad, I just mean that normally when you leave something out too long without refrigeration and it starts bubbling or producing different odors the usual first thought isn't "I wonder what this tastes like."
Then again, I love cheese-- even Bleu and Gorgonzola, kimche and sauerkraut are great too: so touché
Not that it even counts if you score a touch on yourself in fencing, but hey, I can at least admit it.
You will also never hear me argue that Jesus just drank fresh grape juice. That has got to be the most ludicrous proposition I have ever heard. It only takes an afternoon for fresh squeezed grape juice to become alcoholic.
As for the evils of drinking: I hear that more in my favorite Irish drinking songs than I ever did in church
BTW, has the hair gotten any better? That would have been awesome if a stylist on the cruse ship could have fixed it for you. Will you put up any pix of the event on LJ?