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Over My Head
17 years ago
So, basically, I feel like a real mess right now.
Emo rant. Uh oh.
In that movie that I watched, Someone Behind You, a certain tagline stood out. "Someone is always bound to be hurt." That's how I feel right now. About everything. To put it easily, I don't feel good enough. At all.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm in a relationship that's doomed due to circumstances beyond our control. Which hurts so much, since I really do love Cody. I wish I could have a guarantee on us. He really does mean the world to me, and he's my best friend.
What terrifies me even more is that people whom I love in one way or another...they're all going away. I used to have a group of good ol' raindogs, but we're lucky if we talk anymore. I miss them. A lot. And you know what's the worst? Knowing that although I appreciated and loved each and every person I was close to, I also know that I took it all for granted.
I was thinking about a friend from highschool today. Although I was older than he by a year, he had a lot more maturity, it seemed. I was a huge supporter of his, and just wanted to see him succeed. Through out the university year we would text once in a while, but I texted him maybe a week or so ago, to no reply.
I don't know if he remembered me or not. Or if the text went through. Or if he even wanted to respond, anymore. It's so strange to follow in the light that tags on somebody's heels for so long, and all of a sudden, you realize you've hit a brick wall.
I'm wondering if I should try to text him again?
In other news, I had a discussion with a friend. It was a rather interesting discussion, but I feel that they might have come out of it a little hurt.
Why can't it ever be easy?
Oh, I also have what seems to be a mosquito bite on my scalp. Lovely.
So, if anybody actually read to the end of my emo rant, I would appreciate it if you could offer some advice. I know I've been incredibly vague, but yeah. Should I text the friend from highschool again?
Emo rant. Uh oh.
In that movie that I watched, Someone Behind You, a certain tagline stood out. "Someone is always bound to be hurt." That's how I feel right now. About everything. To put it easily, I don't feel good enough. At all.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm in a relationship that's doomed due to circumstances beyond our control. Which hurts so much, since I really do love Cody. I wish I could have a guarantee on us. He really does mean the world to me, and he's my best friend.
What terrifies me even more is that people whom I love in one way or another...they're all going away. I used to have a group of good ol' raindogs, but we're lucky if we talk anymore. I miss them. A lot. And you know what's the worst? Knowing that although I appreciated and loved each and every person I was close to, I also know that I took it all for granted.
I was thinking about a friend from highschool today. Although I was older than he by a year, he had a lot more maturity, it seemed. I was a huge supporter of his, and just wanted to see him succeed. Through out the university year we would text once in a while, but I texted him maybe a week or so ago, to no reply.
I don't know if he remembered me or not. Or if the text went through. Or if he even wanted to respond, anymore. It's so strange to follow in the light that tags on somebody's heels for so long, and all of a sudden, you realize you've hit a brick wall.
I'm wondering if I should try to text him again?
In other news, I had a discussion with a friend. It was a rather interesting discussion, but I feel that they might have come out of it a little hurt.
Why can't it ever be easy?
Oh, I also have what seems to be a mosquito bite on my scalp. Lovely.
So, if anybody actually read to the end of my emo rant, I would appreciate it if you could offer some advice. I know I've been incredibly vague, but yeah. Should I text the friend from highschool again?
I wish I could help ya, but I feel the same way about a lot of things. Being a very sentimental type, it really hurts me when I lose friends, and I feel that pain years and years down the road. Even now I'm still hurt by a furry type named Tyga who disappeared on me years ago. Not to mention some other friends from high school, not that I had many.
People come and go, but some stay with you, and those are the ones that really matter. Or so I've been told. I for one, while I may be moving somewhere sometime in the near future, will always be a friend.
All of my best friends are dating each other now, so it makes it very difficult for me to hang out with them (being single around couples sucks), so I understand the ol' Rain Dogs kind of dissipating. It really is a bunch of lame to see your best friend dating a girl you crushed on for two years and were slowly edging towards through friendship. And to hear your ex girlfriend who you are still awesome friends with is kissing another guy after two dates. But life goes on, I guess.
I think you should text that guy again, if he's important to you.
I think I might text him, even if it's just to wish him good luck on his exams.
All we do is hold a little faith that we may find something that special.
Just sayin'.
On the plus side, monogamy helps to prevent the spread of disease, provides stability for raising children, and helps avoid a whole host of legal issues.
I will say that it's not biologically unnatural for a male to sleep around a bit before settling down, though... Just not recommended. I've been there, trust me.
oh, before i go, random words that have always been stuck in my mind, i forget who said them to me but they words were important. Things change, but your friends will last for life.