I'm pathetic -- charizardcowman's Journal -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

I'm pathetic

13 years ago General

Now I, hear you found somebody new, and that I, never meant that much to you. To hear that tears me up inside, and to see you cuts me, like a knife!

This journal is by the Charizard shapeshifter, Nate Eclipse. It may be a plain old journal, or something off the wall, but it is appreciated if you read.

Thanks to everyone who reads my journals in advance.

I am so depressed because I am a bad writer. I mean, I can't draw very well (I can't draw realistic things at all, and I have a very limited talent for animated things. For reference, look at the uploaded sketches I have, the Eevee/Meowth picture taking almost three hours to do despite how simplistic it is, and doesn't even have shadows or anything like that.) Ever since I started writing short stories as a kid, I wanted to be an author. When I joined Eka's Portal back in 2008, I started posting stories, and I loved writing them and posting them in the hopes that people would read them. But even now, in 2012, Not a lot of people read my stories, and of the ones who have, I have no idea who liked them, what I can improve, or any of that. I feel so horrible about my writing that I broke down crying for a little while just a little earlier tonight. I mean there are several people doing "reality show" based story series, and if they were ranked on "ratings", my show's plug would have been pulled about episode 3. I know it seems stupid and most likely selfish to most people, but when I see some people able to do story commissions and others having a ton of people reading and loving their series, even people not involved with it at that point in time, really makes me feel like I'm a failure as a writer. I don't know why I feel that way, maybe it's just my increased depression, I don't know. I do know that since there are not a lot of people reading the first season of Big Brother, and because I have such a problem coming up with challenges, I will probably not be making a Season 2, and it may end up where I get so down that I can't even finish Season 1. I just want to apologize in advance if this turns out to be the case. Also, to anyone I still owe story requests, I haven't forgotten about you, it's just that the way I am right now I feel like the only things I could potentially write for you would be complete and utter garbage.

16 Comments

Tailslover13 ~tailslover13

Lover Of Butts

13 years ago

Nate, buck up. Not everyone can be Edgar Allen Poe, you know. I'm only good because I've been writing since I was six years old, and I took every possible free second I had during my 12 years of school to type and write, AND I took creative writing classes during my senior year. Writing just comes so naturally to me, and it's easy. You are NOT a bad writer. Believe me, I've seen bad writers, and you are not one. Yes, you could easily improve on stuff; hell, we all could! No one is perfect. I know that I can work on stuff, too. For example, I'm still not keen on using a lot of details, and for some reason I keep leaving words out here and there when I don't even realize it! I type too fast, I guess.

The point is, don't be so down on yourself, alright? You're not a failure. The only failure is when you stop trying and you give up. THAT'S when you're a failure. Just keep writing and improving, and remember that writing is about having fun. If you're not having fun writing something and excited to put it out for random people to read, then you should take a break. I love you, alright? Don't be so depressed. *hugs*

charizardcowman !charizardcowman

Writer

13 years ago

*hugs back* Thanks, I appreciate it. I haven't been working on my writing for as long as you have, I would say I started in about 6th Grade or so, and I don't have my Creative Writing course until January. I just keep trying to look forward and I'm hoping that someone will eventually take an interest in it.

Tailslover13 ~tailslover13

Lover Of Butts

13 years ago

*snuggles* You just need to put yourself out there, like I do. I got a lot of readers because I go out and randomly pester people and try to be their friends. It doesn't always work, but it's still fun~

charizardcowman !charizardcowman

Writer

13 years ago

I try to make friends too, but I'm a bit more shy...

Tailslover13 ~tailslover13

Lover Of Butts

13 years ago

This coming from a cutie who has a hulking black Charizard as his main fursona? You're so adorable, you know that? *cuddles*

charizardcowman !charizardcowman

Writer

13 years ago

*hugs back gently* Thanks. Why do you think I'm an Eevee now, though? I did the Charizard because that's what I most connected with when I first joined the fandom, but as time went on I started to feel more like an Eevee, so that's what I became.

Tailslover13 ~tailslover13

Lover Of Butts

13 years ago

Oh? Then how come you changed into a Charizard momentarily in season 2 of my series, hm? Do I need to spank a Nate for lying? *pulls him down over his lap anyway, and proceeds to give his cute butt a heavy dose of spankage*

charizardcowman !charizardcowman

Writer

13 years ago

I didn't change into a Charizard. Brandon messed up when he typed that. When I said dragon I meant dragon. As in my dragon form. I don't know if I ever described him to you. 9 ft. tall, black scales, grey underbelly and bottoms of wings, wears the Shadow Amulet, has crimson red eyes, and talks in a dark, yet calming, voice.