What you are about to read may shock you. None of it has be edited and all of it is in class. Those of you with gag reflexes and high standards are advised to look away. Thank you.

So first day of semester, this is the professor that likes to get sidetracked easily. Im going to skip most of the standard art history and just inform you what may be concidered interesting.

Opened class and started talking about how laptops are banned from use in the room and while he uses one. Why? "because this is a dictatorship. the he goes on to talk about how fair he is going to be with the grading. Yeah... because dictatorships are SOOOo fair. He then goes on to say he doesn't want people to use their cell phones in class and if they want to bring the phones they should use duck tape and tape it to their chest so they have pull of chest hair if they want to use it. Later he talks about how nudity is natural and clothes are not. Then as we leave he dismisses with "Congratulations, you caught all the pokemon. have a good day."
Next class he rants about 15 minutes about how he hates mac cords and steeve jobs. French revolution is mentioned and he talks about how it should have been unionized. Later he had a slightly witty comment. "you are what you eat, but if you eat what you are, your a cannibal." Then he went into a major philosophy Plato on reality. Later he talked about how he LOVED working on a factory assembly line when he was in college... yeah think about that for a while. Later when talking about Van Gogh he talked about his addictions and ended with "drugs are bad."
Okay so someone was in class early and popping those bubble things by jumping on them all at once and he pops in the room thinking there might be some kind of shooting but is unarmed and talks about how not to do that as that will inspire fear in people so its terrorism. Later he talked about circus freaks and bearded women.
That day we were talking about the industrial age and I kid you not, he goes into a forrest gump style rant about steel. when it happened I though he was joking but he was serious. Then he talked about how hard life was back then because they didnt have a walmart you could go to for food. Of course everyone has that "NO! really?" expression. later he talked about how there is a street that has his same last name, and I thought "How scary would it be if he had his own sesame street style show." Later he just announces after talking about how steel improoved making bridges with "I like bridges." Anyone who has seen the naruto abridged parody knows how hard I had to keep from laughing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1D7gPF6w8w its at the end if you want in on the joke. Then he talks about the presidential bank conspiracy and how sheep cant eat apples. Then he went on to tell the story about how he gave himself his own root canal, and then how he lost that tooth.
So we were talking about how all these new high class paintings are coming from monkeys and animals. then he suggested if you get into a bad spot and have no job you should dress up in an elephant suit and paint paintings in the lobby of an expensive hotel. Then a Philosophy 101 thing again and finally how his left hand is actually his right foot.
Next class he ranted about how industrialization is responsible for all these cell phones, foursquare and facebook and how that is taking up so many peoples lives. Then his theory's on how to get pee out of a pool and the inter workings of a mac.
after that there isnt much else other than spaghetti monster references, eating mayonnaise with toenails in them while defying your parents and how he doesn't want to be force fed to eat goose lard.
Keep in mind this is just the art class. I didnt catalog the painting class, and thats when he really rants, when he doesn't have history to cover.