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A Gancey Tale
13 years ago
The below are just thoughts that go on through my mind when I capture shoplifters, or just witness some very retarded things at work.
Humans are a very interesting breed of creature. All the generally same make up, different shades of skin, and yet very diverse backgrounds, that if you look close enough are very similar in a lot of ways. I just want to know, why do people spin a web of lies so thick, that they themselves believe it? I was five feet from you, I offered to hold the lanyard for you, then you have the audacity to slide it into your pocket when you THINK I am not looking.
"Ready to check out?" "No. I'm good." And with that you linger, then head off towards the door. I follow, I cut you off and I stand at the door watching. You make small talk before you exit, then get furious when I ask them simple question: "Oh hey, what did you do with that lanyard I saw you with? You know, the zombie one?" "Oh I set it down." "Can you show me where?" You gesture and point behind me. "Sorry, I can't see where you're pointing." At this point in time you bring me back over to the lanyards and point at one that looks just like it.
"That's not the same one." "Yes it is, I set it there." "Why would you push it back so far?" "I dunno." "You never put it back." "Yes I did, I promise you I did." "Now you're just lying to me." "I am not lying!" "I want my lanyard back." "I didn't steal nothing." "I want my lanyard back." "Tch, man, I didn't take nothing!" "I want my lanyard back." "Maaan..." You take it out of your pocket where it had been the whole time. then proceed to bargain with me. "How much is it, I'll pay for it." "Why would you be trying to pay for something you just walked out of the store with and lied about having? It doesn't work that way." At this time Security enters the store. "You called the mall cops on me?" "You stole my merchandise, of course I did."
Is it some sort of game? I know it's a sickness for some people, the rush of stealing something and getting away with it. But why? I can understand the concept of stealing food because you're hungry. Stealing a blanket because you are cold... but why try to steal something as senseless as a Lanyard? A Keychain.. A pen? Is the lanyard going to be your weapon against the Giants invading the Earth? Is the keychain actually a KEY to unlock some secret coded treasure chest you found in your backyard? Is the pen some sort of Gold Fountain that spits out a fortune every time you write something out? Maybe you're just retarded, I don't know... But I don't care. Stealing, is stealing. if I had my way, sure I'd let you leave without calling the cops and giving you a 500 dollar fine ticket, and ruining the rest of your life because of YOUR stupid mistake. On one condition. We settle it the old way, still practiced in some countries. You can go free, but one of your hands, if not both, stay with me.
You enter a store, and you are greeted within moments. "Hi, how are you today?" with which translates to you as "Do you need help?" So the response I usually receive is "No thank you." With which I tend to respond "You're doing no thank you?" The response varies upon person to person, one of the most common being complete ignorance. The other's are a sort of confused look as if we were having two completely different conversations, or an apology. I love the apologies personally. Then you actually have the people who listen "I'm doing good." Then you have the people who listen and are polite, "I'm doing good, and you?" This is where my responses vary depending upon the age group, or style of person they appear to be initially. "I'm doing quite well thank you." Followed by a "But just to let you guys know, all of our..." etc, etc. Then you have my other two comments that almost always get a laugh or some common response. "I'm kind of tired actually." "To be honest, hungry."
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, 9/10 I will have greeted you as you've entered the door, unless I am tied up behind register, or helping someone else on the floor. Now at this point, you know I work here, you know I will approach you if you need help.... And yet... You refuse to seek my help. I'll check up on you, see if you were finding everything okay... The responses I get for this are usually incoherent. "Are you finding everything okay?", "No thank you.".. I didn't tell you a sale or anything, was asking if you were finding things okay.. but.. okay. "Oh yes." As I walk away "Could you tell me where ... ?," Then you have the people who just stare at you, as if you were the devil. It's those people I like to reapproach again and again. The stores purpose is to make you laugh, I don't want some smug bastard giving me the stink eye while I'm working. if you're not going to enjoy yourself, or give someone the chance to help/make you laugh, why are you even in the damn store? If it were any other store, sure, it would be annoying. But this is Spencer's, we're cooky, we're crazy, we're loud, we are ALWAYS watching~ If you don't want me pestering you, easiest way to get that to stop is, you know, SAY SOMETHING, don't just stare. Are you mute? I can communicate through sign, does my signing suck? I'll write it down. Can't read? Where the hell is your friend to help you?
Then you have the people who will not only refuse your help, but be pissed that you didn't help them. For instance, they get in line to check out, and you're helping someone else. "Can someone check me out?" "Give me one second, I'll be right there." "Can't someone else?" "No ma'am, I am the only one on Register right now. And I'll be right there, just shutting this case." "Why can't she do it?" "Because she is not registered trained, please just give me one moment." "This is ridiculous."
Now, under any other circumstances, I would pass on what I was doing to someone else, to check them out. However, the circumstance was this: Being the only Manager on duty, with two new associates (Neither of which are Register trained), I was in the process of grabbing a piece of jewelry for a guest (Their last piece to grab) "Can someone check me out?" I was making sure I had grabbed the right pieces for the guest, "Give me one second, I'll be right there." (Literally, all I had to do is shut the case, lock it and walk right over... Well more like 9 seconds, but still.) "Can't someone else?" The woman who I got the jewelry for was looking at me mouthing "What a bitch." When I finally got to the register, the woman looked very annoyed and huffy. That's fine, she waited a whopping 30 seconds to be checked out because of our little back and forth.
As she left she made sure to tell me, "You really need to get other people on Register, this is stupid that only one person can check someone out." Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Annnnnywhoooo, just felt like sharing some lovely retail experiences. Not bitching, not complaining, call it a rant if you must, I just find it funny. In closing, the Human Race is just a funny hairless race.
Peace and Love,
Gance
Humans are a very interesting breed of creature. All the generally same make up, different shades of skin, and yet very diverse backgrounds, that if you look close enough are very similar in a lot of ways. I just want to know, why do people spin a web of lies so thick, that they themselves believe it? I was five feet from you, I offered to hold the lanyard for you, then you have the audacity to slide it into your pocket when you THINK I am not looking.
"Ready to check out?" "No. I'm good." And with that you linger, then head off towards the door. I follow, I cut you off and I stand at the door watching. You make small talk before you exit, then get furious when I ask them simple question: "Oh hey, what did you do with that lanyard I saw you with? You know, the zombie one?" "Oh I set it down." "Can you show me where?" You gesture and point behind me. "Sorry, I can't see where you're pointing." At this point in time you bring me back over to the lanyards and point at one that looks just like it.
"That's not the same one." "Yes it is, I set it there." "Why would you push it back so far?" "I dunno." "You never put it back." "Yes I did, I promise you I did." "Now you're just lying to me." "I am not lying!" "I want my lanyard back." "I didn't steal nothing." "I want my lanyard back." "Tch, man, I didn't take nothing!" "I want my lanyard back." "Maaan..." You take it out of your pocket where it had been the whole time. then proceed to bargain with me. "How much is it, I'll pay for it." "Why would you be trying to pay for something you just walked out of the store with and lied about having? It doesn't work that way." At this time Security enters the store. "You called the mall cops on me?" "You stole my merchandise, of course I did."
Is it some sort of game? I know it's a sickness for some people, the rush of stealing something and getting away with it. But why? I can understand the concept of stealing food because you're hungry. Stealing a blanket because you are cold... but why try to steal something as senseless as a Lanyard? A Keychain.. A pen? Is the lanyard going to be your weapon against the Giants invading the Earth? Is the keychain actually a KEY to unlock some secret coded treasure chest you found in your backyard? Is the pen some sort of Gold Fountain that spits out a fortune every time you write something out? Maybe you're just retarded, I don't know... But I don't care. Stealing, is stealing. if I had my way, sure I'd let you leave without calling the cops and giving you a 500 dollar fine ticket, and ruining the rest of your life because of YOUR stupid mistake. On one condition. We settle it the old way, still practiced in some countries. You can go free, but one of your hands, if not both, stay with me.
You enter a store, and you are greeted within moments. "Hi, how are you today?" with which translates to you as "Do you need help?" So the response I usually receive is "No thank you." With which I tend to respond "You're doing no thank you?" The response varies upon person to person, one of the most common being complete ignorance. The other's are a sort of confused look as if we were having two completely different conversations, or an apology. I love the apologies personally. Then you actually have the people who listen "I'm doing good." Then you have the people who listen and are polite, "I'm doing good, and you?" This is where my responses vary depending upon the age group, or style of person they appear to be initially. "I'm doing quite well thank you." Followed by a "But just to let you guys know, all of our..." etc, etc. Then you have my other two comments that almost always get a laugh or some common response. "I'm kind of tired actually." "To be honest, hungry."
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, 9/10 I will have greeted you as you've entered the door, unless I am tied up behind register, or helping someone else on the floor. Now at this point, you know I work here, you know I will approach you if you need help.... And yet... You refuse to seek my help. I'll check up on you, see if you were finding everything okay... The responses I get for this are usually incoherent. "Are you finding everything okay?", "No thank you.".. I didn't tell you a sale or anything, was asking if you were finding things okay.. but.. okay. "Oh yes." As I walk away "Could you tell me where ... ?," Then you have the people who just stare at you, as if you were the devil. It's those people I like to reapproach again and again. The stores purpose is to make you laugh, I don't want some smug bastard giving me the stink eye while I'm working. if you're not going to enjoy yourself, or give someone the chance to help/make you laugh, why are you even in the damn store? If it were any other store, sure, it would be annoying. But this is Spencer's, we're cooky, we're crazy, we're loud, we are ALWAYS watching~ If you don't want me pestering you, easiest way to get that to stop is, you know, SAY SOMETHING, don't just stare. Are you mute? I can communicate through sign, does my signing suck? I'll write it down. Can't read? Where the hell is your friend to help you?
Then you have the people who will not only refuse your help, but be pissed that you didn't help them. For instance, they get in line to check out, and you're helping someone else. "Can someone check me out?" "Give me one second, I'll be right there." "Can't someone else?" "No ma'am, I am the only one on Register right now. And I'll be right there, just shutting this case." "Why can't she do it?" "Because she is not registered trained, please just give me one moment." "This is ridiculous."
Now, under any other circumstances, I would pass on what I was doing to someone else, to check them out. However, the circumstance was this: Being the only Manager on duty, with two new associates (Neither of which are Register trained), I was in the process of grabbing a piece of jewelry for a guest (Their last piece to grab) "Can someone check me out?" I was making sure I had grabbed the right pieces for the guest, "Give me one second, I'll be right there." (Literally, all I had to do is shut the case, lock it and walk right over... Well more like 9 seconds, but still.) "Can't someone else?" The woman who I got the jewelry for was looking at me mouthing "What a bitch." When I finally got to the register, the woman looked very annoyed and huffy. That's fine, she waited a whopping 30 seconds to be checked out because of our little back and forth.
As she left she made sure to tell me, "You really need to get other people on Register, this is stupid that only one person can check someone out." Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Annnnnywhoooo, just felt like sharing some lovely retail experiences. Not bitching, not complaining, call it a rant if you must, I just find it funny. In closing, the Human Race is just a funny hairless race.
Peace and Love,
Gance
About the second thing - in public areas, I tend to be quite shy, and I avoid human contact as much as possible. There's no doubt I'd be acting strange if you greeted me like that, because then I feel all weird as if I have to act perfectly or else it'll become really awkward. And it usually becomes really awkward anyway!