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Why do we get depressed?
13 years ago
General
Why is it people get depressed over nothing? Is it just...stress, or maybe it's something deep down inside that they can't deal with? I don't know... been thinking to myself, basically...calling myself a loser because of how depressed I get sometimes. Sometimes I can get really depressed, almost suicidal, but I'm smart enough to know I would never hurt myself... because I can't. But I do wonder what it'd be like...you know? Sometimes I ask myself if things would be better off without me, would it be better for some people if I hadn't existed in the first place...maybe not being here would be better...but I know that's not entirely true.
To be honest, the biggest reason I get depressed is because I see everyone so...happy. I mean, people have their mates (which I seem to be forever alone), and some people get gifts from people (Hell... I even give gifts, and I'm not saying I want anything in return...just...do people even think about me?) I feel like...just a guy who people make small talk with from time to time when he bothers them. I don't really know many people who start talking to me. I guess that's in my nature though, to be nosey, jealous of people in relationships, and envious.
Thought that, for sure, I would've found someone by now, but...the people I've been interested in have either lost contact with me, rarely talk to me at all, or like somebody else entirely. I try my best to keep cool, and not get depressed...but I want to not be? I thought that finding someone to call mate would be what I needed to turn my depressing feelings around, and as much as I admit it would help a bit, it still wouldn't satisfy everything I suppose. I don't know what would either.
I don't hate myself, sure... I'm chubby, there's nothing wrong with that. My family isn't perfect, but we're pretty loyal to each other, having each others backs even if sometimes we don't see eye to eye. My friends are all pretty cool, well...the people I "call friend" anyway... real life and online. But... it's kind of like they don't even feel the same way about me. Like I'm a nag...just a bother, someone who isn't important. I don't want to feel special with everyone, at most I just want someone to talk to from time to time.
And another thing that bothers me is when...people add me expecting them to YIFF them. holy crap... I can't stress this enough but I am a GAY (male) SUBMISSIVE BOTTOM. That means I like the pee pee in my butt. There really isn't any other way around it, I am disgusted by the idea of fucking someone, but being fucked is something completely different. I want to please with my body, but that doesn't make me a bad person, or a whore, or a slut. No, it just means what it says. I don't go around saying "use me use me", no, the only person I will be a "slut" for is the person brave enough to call me mate.
I don't expect many of you to read this, let alone reply, this is just a rant journal anyway, I don't know why I'm typing this...just...sometimes you gotta get things off your chest I guess.
To be honest, the biggest reason I get depressed is because I see everyone so...happy. I mean, people have their mates (which I seem to be forever alone), and some people get gifts from people (Hell... I even give gifts, and I'm not saying I want anything in return...just...do people even think about me?) I feel like...just a guy who people make small talk with from time to time when he bothers them. I don't really know many people who start talking to me. I guess that's in my nature though, to be nosey, jealous of people in relationships, and envious.
Thought that, for sure, I would've found someone by now, but...the people I've been interested in have either lost contact with me, rarely talk to me at all, or like somebody else entirely. I try my best to keep cool, and not get depressed...but I want to not be? I thought that finding someone to call mate would be what I needed to turn my depressing feelings around, and as much as I admit it would help a bit, it still wouldn't satisfy everything I suppose. I don't know what would either.
I don't hate myself, sure... I'm chubby, there's nothing wrong with that. My family isn't perfect, but we're pretty loyal to each other, having each others backs even if sometimes we don't see eye to eye. My friends are all pretty cool, well...the people I "call friend" anyway... real life and online. But... it's kind of like they don't even feel the same way about me. Like I'm a nag...just a bother, someone who isn't important. I don't want to feel special with everyone, at most I just want someone to talk to from time to time.
And another thing that bothers me is when...people add me expecting them to YIFF them. holy crap... I can't stress this enough but I am a GAY (male) SUBMISSIVE BOTTOM. That means I like the pee pee in my butt. There really isn't any other way around it, I am disgusted by the idea of fucking someone, but being fucked is something completely different. I want to please with my body, but that doesn't make me a bad person, or a whore, or a slut. No, it just means what it says. I don't go around saying "use me use me", no, the only person I will be a "slut" for is the person brave enough to call me mate.
I don't expect many of you to read this, let alone reply, this is just a rant journal anyway, I don't know why I'm typing this...just...sometimes you gotta get things off your chest I guess.
Everyone gets depressed when they feel they fail or are reminded it of it. Forms of depression aren't just being sad and defeated, a shorter temper or "sudden" mood swings are also traits of it which people tend to see. As much as I hate to say it, humanity on a whole seems to be toxic to each other and leads to these broken parts in people. I'm not really suited to discuss the why but that is my simple take on it.
As for mates and relationships, there are singles in almost any age group, it doesn't make you any less of a person for being single. There isn't some perfect fit that is "Your other half" that will fit into your life. A healthy relationship is a partnership, one filled with love, but one more importantly filled with trust. Any couple will disagree, argue, and fight. The best ones know what is good to fight for, and when it is time to compromise.
Lastly just my view but really both partners' job is to please the other with their body. Top, bottom, doesn't matter. If you don't try to please the other your with just seems rude to me. Yea I'm simple minded on that.
Read it all and here's my reply.