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Ziggy Rants 5: Musta Been a Beautiful Baby.
17 years ago
General
That’s right boys and girls (and the assorted in betweens of the furry fandom), I’m pissed off again. What is it this time? Well, let’s just say that this little loss of faith in humanity humorously coincides with humanity getting a sudden spike in population.
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.html
For those of you who tl;dr’d that, let me cut this up into the main points.
As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year.
In other words, seventeen high school girls decided to throw their entire livelihood away for a few minutes of pleasure. Why am I not surprised? But wait! This isn’t a story about our nations youth ruining their lives because Quarterback Ted was just that sexy, or because someone got far too drunk to care. I’m sure those stories will be touched upon in later rants when the news arises. No. These young women, our generation, the people who will be running our world in ten to twenty years have taken the old teen pregnancy story you hear on ever Very Special Episode ever to a whole new level.
School officials started looking into the matter as early as October after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together.
A pregnancy pact.
A
Pregnancy
Pact.
I can actually feel the stupidity rising up from my computer screen just by reading this statement. It’s a foul odor. It’s everywhere. I can’t breathe. Get me out of here!
Alright. Enough of the drama. In all honesty, I’m not fully sure what to say on this that could properly express how much this pisses me off. This is no story about a life changing accident. This is flat out determination. A group of girls who just couldn’t wait until they could actually experience adulthood before being sure they were ready to drop a baby out from between their legs. Yeah. Real smart there, princess. We applaud your responsibility. And by “applaud” I mean “mourn” and by “your responsibility” we mean “the fact that mankind’s average intelligence has actually fallen under that of a plank of wood.”
For the love of God! I never thought I’d live to see the day when a bunch of chittery little teenage shits would actually become stupid enough to turn pregnancy into a game! These girls have no idea what they’re getting themselves into, and don’t even care. It’s just another idiotic attempt to get into the “In Crowd” because everyone whose cool has a screaming shit factory hanging off their tits.
To make an excerpt of an excerpt:
"some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says.
Yup. You read that right. These girls were so dead set on becoming pregnant, that they were upset because they WOULDN’T become single mothers living in a trailer park living off welfare.*
I never thought that this kind of head imploding idiocy could possibly exist outside of your average fanfiction of furry porno character.
And you wanna be really pissed off? Do you? These girls weren’t just sleeping around with the basketball team. Some of them had to get inventive with how they were going to humiliate themselves and their family.
"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.
Heeey! Don’t worry if he hasn’t been tested for STDs, or that he’ll never have the money to support you or your bastard child. Once you drop a baby from your cunt, everything will be great!
Doesn’t help that the school is stupid enough to encourage them with a nice little safety net to fall into to keep them in school.
Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. "We're proud to help the mothers stay in school," says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.
Nice job, Gloucester. Thanks for encouraging the students even more. Oh. I know! Why not hold an award for the most babys shot out in one school year? We can get rid of the football team and replace it with a national diaper changing league! If your water breaks during finals, you get bonus points!
Are you completely out of your minds!?
Here’s an idea. How about you take some of that funding out of helping these infant squirting dipshits and put some of it into educating your students about how to have responsible sex!?** These girls want to know the beauty of motherhood? Show them what it’s like for mothers outside of high school. Make them stop their lives to care for the one they created. Let them wake up at 3 a.m. to spend the rest of the night trying to make their child be quiet. Let them know the anguish of finding out that their days of youth are over. I feel no sympathy for people like this. In fact, the only people I feel sympathy for are the families of these girls who now have to deal with the fact that all their parenting has fallen on deaf ears*** and the babies that are being dropped into this world as we speak, because they don’t deserve mothers as pathetic as these.
This is Ziggy, and I’m not in the mood to end this with a cute catch phrase.
*Not that all women who get pregnant at 16 end up this way, but can you possibly imagine these girls having any sort of plausible goal in life to follow getting themselves knocked up because of an agreement?
**No. I don’t agree to sex ed that encourages people to stay virgins. All that does is keep them ignorant of the trust, so they’ll fuck up even worse when they decide to do it anyway.
***Assuming they did, in fact, do any parenting and didn’t just let their sex driven kids to run wild. If that’s the case, the whole lot of them deserve a crowbar to the cranium to see if it’s possible to get any stupider.
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.html
For those of you who tl;dr’d that, let me cut this up into the main points.
As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year.
In other words, seventeen high school girls decided to throw their entire livelihood away for a few minutes of pleasure. Why am I not surprised? But wait! This isn’t a story about our nations youth ruining their lives because Quarterback Ted was just that sexy, or because someone got far too drunk to care. I’m sure those stories will be touched upon in later rants when the news arises. No. These young women, our generation, the people who will be running our world in ten to twenty years have taken the old teen pregnancy story you hear on ever Very Special Episode ever to a whole new level.
School officials started looking into the matter as early as October after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together.
A pregnancy pact.
A
Pregnancy
Pact.
I can actually feel the stupidity rising up from my computer screen just by reading this statement. It’s a foul odor. It’s everywhere. I can’t breathe. Get me out of here!
Alright. Enough of the drama. In all honesty, I’m not fully sure what to say on this that could properly express how much this pisses me off. This is no story about a life changing accident. This is flat out determination. A group of girls who just couldn’t wait until they could actually experience adulthood before being sure they were ready to drop a baby out from between their legs. Yeah. Real smart there, princess. We applaud your responsibility. And by “applaud” I mean “mourn” and by “your responsibility” we mean “the fact that mankind’s average intelligence has actually fallen under that of a plank of wood.”
For the love of God! I never thought I’d live to see the day when a bunch of chittery little teenage shits would actually become stupid enough to turn pregnancy into a game! These girls have no idea what they’re getting themselves into, and don’t even care. It’s just another idiotic attempt to get into the “In Crowd” because everyone whose cool has a screaming shit factory hanging off their tits.
To make an excerpt of an excerpt:
"some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says.
Yup. You read that right. These girls were so dead set on becoming pregnant, that they were upset because they WOULDN’T become single mothers living in a trailer park living off welfare.*
I never thought that this kind of head imploding idiocy could possibly exist outside of your average fanfiction of furry porno character.
And you wanna be really pissed off? Do you? These girls weren’t just sleeping around with the basketball team. Some of them had to get inventive with how they were going to humiliate themselves and their family.
"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.
Heeey! Don’t worry if he hasn’t been tested for STDs, or that he’ll never have the money to support you or your bastard child. Once you drop a baby from your cunt, everything will be great!
Doesn’t help that the school is stupid enough to encourage them with a nice little safety net to fall into to keep them in school.
Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. "We're proud to help the mothers stay in school," says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.
Nice job, Gloucester. Thanks for encouraging the students even more. Oh. I know! Why not hold an award for the most babys shot out in one school year? We can get rid of the football team and replace it with a national diaper changing league! If your water breaks during finals, you get bonus points!
Are you completely out of your minds!?
Here’s an idea. How about you take some of that funding out of helping these infant squirting dipshits and put some of it into educating your students about how to have responsible sex!?** These girls want to know the beauty of motherhood? Show them what it’s like for mothers outside of high school. Make them stop their lives to care for the one they created. Let them wake up at 3 a.m. to spend the rest of the night trying to make their child be quiet. Let them know the anguish of finding out that their days of youth are over. I feel no sympathy for people like this. In fact, the only people I feel sympathy for are the families of these girls who now have to deal with the fact that all their parenting has fallen on deaf ears*** and the babies that are being dropped into this world as we speak, because they don’t deserve mothers as pathetic as these.
This is Ziggy, and I’m not in the mood to end this with a cute catch phrase.
*Not that all women who get pregnant at 16 end up this way, but can you possibly imagine these girls having any sort of plausible goal in life to follow getting themselves knocked up because of an agreement?
**No. I don’t agree to sex ed that encourages people to stay virgins. All that does is keep them ignorant of the trust, so they’ll fuck up even worse when they decide to do it anyway.
***Assuming they did, in fact, do any parenting and didn’t just let their sex driven kids to run wild. If that’s the case, the whole lot of them deserve a crowbar to the cranium to see if it’s possible to get any stupider.
people humour me all the time
we need liek a plague or something, but an easy one to avoid
like...to get the readily available antidote you need to enter a blood smeared room with a stool in the middle, faceing a loaded shotgun that will fire when the stool is sat upon, and an open door, and a sign reads "you'll get cake if you sit on the stool"
population problem:: SOLV-ED
If you guys do deceide to nuke this island, I'd like to be evacuated first. Cheers,