FA+
Shop
I don't know...
17 years ago
General
I know that FA is definitely not the place to make life decisions, what, with all the constant drama and what-not, but, I currently don't have another place I can write this stuff out without it being seen by more people involved in it than I want to.
Let's start a bit locally. Yeah, I complained about a friend in my last journal... but now my friends are separated into three categories: The first, who will be the only local one that sees this here, is the pointless... He comes over, complains about being bored, makes comments about how he could be bored at home and leaves. This is irritating beyond all compare, if you don't want to flipping come over then DON'T. It's not like I forced you to anyway. To be fair, you were 6 hours late, you could have just said "I can't make it".
The second category is the small group that need to choose their words better. The one from last journal fits into this category as well. I've had them complain about the free room I host for them when they want to do pen and papers, I've had them consider every little thing I do as 'drama'. You'd think they never suffered from a moment of depression ever, and yet, when you do, everything becomes drama. -_-
The third, local, category are the people I don't see often enough. For the most part, I can't feel bad about this, the majority of the people I don't see live on the complete other side of town, a 2 hour transit. Most of the ones closer to me, I don't hang out with due to drug abuse on their part. "You keep it out of my business, and I'll stay out of yours."
To the other half of my world, the online half, there's really only two categories: Those I play WoW with, and those I only talk to. Those I play WoW with are, well... there's not a lot I can say, they're very bipolar in action, though not in actuality. They also choose to ignore some important details, such as limitations or what people have been doing with them. Not much else to say about this.
The rest of you: I deeply enjoy talking to you, though for the majority, it's not really talking... I act online like I do in real life when I'm not around people that expect me to speak endlessly about what they want to talk about. Actions speak louder than words, and everyone speaks louder than me. I feel bad when I'm just doing a lot of actions, but it's how I am in real life. I'm happy? I'm quiet. Sad? Quiet. Angry? If I'm a little angry I'll rant and rave for a while, but if it's deep anger, I'm really quiet. I only talk when I have to, and I apologize for bringing that into my refuge, if only because I don't get the opportunity for it in the real world anymore.
Now, as for myself, I don't want to touch on this too deeply, since I could delve infinitely into it. I still feel bad for having to put on a facade for so long, back when I was younger and had to lie about my personal life a lot because of what I was taught. I feel really guilty about this to the three of you that have been around since my early days here, in the small corner of the furry community I've ingrained myself in. I am sorry.
As for the rest of me, I express my feelings very little, though I do know I express a few important ones very loudly, even if one of them is from holding onto a fleeting dream... Even if I know it'll eventually shatter to pieces, I still hold on.
Anyway, I think that's all that is on my mind for now, and hopefully this will tide me over for a while. I start a new job tomorrow, so I don't honestly know what my availability will be, I just hope that I can deal with these people in my own way without being reprimanded.
Thank you for reading.
-TJ
Let's start a bit locally. Yeah, I complained about a friend in my last journal... but now my friends are separated into three categories: The first, who will be the only local one that sees this here, is the pointless... He comes over, complains about being bored, makes comments about how he could be bored at home and leaves. This is irritating beyond all compare, if you don't want to flipping come over then DON'T. It's not like I forced you to anyway. To be fair, you were 6 hours late, you could have just said "I can't make it".
The second category is the small group that need to choose their words better. The one from last journal fits into this category as well. I've had them complain about the free room I host for them when they want to do pen and papers, I've had them consider every little thing I do as 'drama'. You'd think they never suffered from a moment of depression ever, and yet, when you do, everything becomes drama. -_-
The third, local, category are the people I don't see often enough. For the most part, I can't feel bad about this, the majority of the people I don't see live on the complete other side of town, a 2 hour transit. Most of the ones closer to me, I don't hang out with due to drug abuse on their part. "You keep it out of my business, and I'll stay out of yours."
To the other half of my world, the online half, there's really only two categories: Those I play WoW with, and those I only talk to. Those I play WoW with are, well... there's not a lot I can say, they're very bipolar in action, though not in actuality. They also choose to ignore some important details, such as limitations or what people have been doing with them. Not much else to say about this.
The rest of you: I deeply enjoy talking to you, though for the majority, it's not really talking... I act online like I do in real life when I'm not around people that expect me to speak endlessly about what they want to talk about. Actions speak louder than words, and everyone speaks louder than me. I feel bad when I'm just doing a lot of actions, but it's how I am in real life. I'm happy? I'm quiet. Sad? Quiet. Angry? If I'm a little angry I'll rant and rave for a while, but if it's deep anger, I'm really quiet. I only talk when I have to, and I apologize for bringing that into my refuge, if only because I don't get the opportunity for it in the real world anymore.
Now, as for myself, I don't want to touch on this too deeply, since I could delve infinitely into it. I still feel bad for having to put on a facade for so long, back when I was younger and had to lie about my personal life a lot because of what I was taught. I feel really guilty about this to the three of you that have been around since my early days here, in the small corner of the furry community I've ingrained myself in. I am sorry.
As for the rest of me, I express my feelings very little, though I do know I express a few important ones very loudly, even if one of them is from holding onto a fleeting dream... Even if I know it'll eventually shatter to pieces, I still hold on.
Anyway, I think that's all that is on my mind for now, and hopefully this will tide me over for a while. I start a new job tomorrow, so I don't honestly know what my availability will be, I just hope that I can deal with these people in my own way without being reprimanded.
Thank you for reading.
-TJ
