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best x-mas ever
13 years ago
General
i just experienced the best holidays i could have asked for. i received something that only i could give. i got peace inside. my heart has eased up a little and i actually didnt cry on the anniversary. i was happy and had no reason too.
she came to me. as clear as i see my monitor now. as clear as i see my babybunny every night she formed in my dreams. we spent a long time talking and she made me realize that even though i did die, i didnt stay dead... i should stop acting like i did. she told me that the best of my life is ahead. that it was ok to love them, to love them with all my heart.. they were special to me and that never dies.. but they are not in the physical world anymore and that is ok. it simply means that when i need them they will be there, but in another form.
they made me realize that i have been taking my very life for granted. it is only by magic that we live (say what you want, but just because we know how our bodies work, doesnt mean it is any less magical that we are able to live).. and the only way i will understand that magic is if i just learn to use that magic. to love the magic in me, and in others.
they let me talk to my grandpa and he gave me a message for my grandma which she was so happy to receive. they held me and loved me. they comforted me and let me see just what i have been missing, both inside and out. i was missing sight. the reality of the situation. the fact that i have all i ever hoped for in my bunnyhunny and my new family. i love them and they love me.. what else can i ask for while trying to move on.
when i asked "how do i start?" they said "open your eyes and look around at the magic."
when i did open my eyes i saw my bunny looking back at me. it was magic. she is magic. my 2 angels will always be around but she is such a gift. i am blessed and i will from now on try to remember that.
bunnyhunny i love you.
emmy i love you.
shadow i love you.
amberly i love you.
in fact i cant discriminate.. everyone out there.. even if we dont get along (and in those cases i doubt that will change but) i love you none the less.
even though i will probably never hold you, hug you or kiss you, i love you all, and with all my heart. i love you. and now i am starting to love me. and that is a start i suppose.
to my baby.. to her mom.. to my grandpa who never stopped believing in me..
"there is no one in town i know
you gave us someplace to go
i never said thank you for that
thought i would get one more chance
what would you think of me now?
so lucky so strong so proud
i never said thank you for that
now i will never have a chance
may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in
may angels lead you in
may angels lead you in
may angels lead you in
and if you were with me tonight
id sing to you just one more time
song of hearts so big
god wouldnt let it live
may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in."
~ may angels lead you in
jimmy eat world
she came to me. as clear as i see my monitor now. as clear as i see my babybunny every night she formed in my dreams. we spent a long time talking and she made me realize that even though i did die, i didnt stay dead... i should stop acting like i did. she told me that the best of my life is ahead. that it was ok to love them, to love them with all my heart.. they were special to me and that never dies.. but they are not in the physical world anymore and that is ok. it simply means that when i need them they will be there, but in another form.
they made me realize that i have been taking my very life for granted. it is only by magic that we live (say what you want, but just because we know how our bodies work, doesnt mean it is any less magical that we are able to live).. and the only way i will understand that magic is if i just learn to use that magic. to love the magic in me, and in others.
they let me talk to my grandpa and he gave me a message for my grandma which she was so happy to receive. they held me and loved me. they comforted me and let me see just what i have been missing, both inside and out. i was missing sight. the reality of the situation. the fact that i have all i ever hoped for in my bunnyhunny and my new family. i love them and they love me.. what else can i ask for while trying to move on.
when i asked "how do i start?" they said "open your eyes and look around at the magic."
when i did open my eyes i saw my bunny looking back at me. it was magic. she is magic. my 2 angels will always be around but she is such a gift. i am blessed and i will from now on try to remember that.
bunnyhunny i love you.
emmy i love you.
shadow i love you.
amberly i love you.
in fact i cant discriminate.. everyone out there.. even if we dont get along (and in those cases i doubt that will change but) i love you none the less.
even though i will probably never hold you, hug you or kiss you, i love you all, and with all my heart. i love you. and now i am starting to love me. and that is a start i suppose.
to my baby.. to her mom.. to my grandpa who never stopped believing in me..
"there is no one in town i know
you gave us someplace to go
i never said thank you for that
thought i would get one more chance
what would you think of me now?
so lucky so strong so proud
i never said thank you for that
now i will never have a chance
may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in
may angels lead you in
may angels lead you in
may angels lead you in
and if you were with me tonight
id sing to you just one more time
song of hearts so big
god wouldnt let it live
may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in."
~ may angels lead you in
jimmy eat world
oh and i am almost done with a first draft in the search to make better furries (your OC) i will tell you and i will send it to you before i post it :3
love ya
<3<3<3
alrighty! im excited to see <33