I have said before that the real Christmas Miracle is that we eat for three days and the refrigerator is still full. Well, this year, the 'fridge was a bit less full, though the house was more so. Three kids in a trailer house (four if you count the fifty-something as a kid, which is easy to do), then mate and myself brings the total to six, and that's just the two-leggers :p Granted one of the boys is actually moving back in with his own parents and the girl-child is going back to second semester at school in a couple weeks but ... *sigh* just been a hard stretch for a card carrying introvert left with ZERO recharge space.

Still, business progresses, in spite of family in many cases, and I'm carving out what I can. Paying bills is high on the list, but not highEST on the list. At this point, it's not avoiding breaking down, it's avoiding breaking down again. I've spoken for a long time about going crazy if I was in retail long enough. Folks laugh, and then act shocked when it happens. Just ...done. With so many things.

I've also said that I knew my wife didn't marry me for money, because she wouldn't have married an English Lit major with a fabric stash I could lose a small child in. While not, strictly speaking, wrong, as she certainly is supportive, I think ...I think I expected a bit more support in doing what I wanted to do, and less "get out there and get a real job" support.

...and I went, because I couldn't bear the conflict, I just want everybody to be happy. Still, I find my ability to make certain people happy without being miserable smaller and smaller, and if I'm miserable, I can't keep THAT up indefinitely. ...couldn't keep that up. And won't.

Not that this will make ME deliriously "happy." It's still WORK, after all. But it's mine.

-Jesse the Muttering Mutt