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Broken Family Update..
12 years ago
~Welcome to my Journal of Randomness!~
~*♥*❤*♥~Ok So now I am finally filled in on this whole mess. It is at fault on both sides of my parents. My Dad for hanging with Tracy alot. And my mom losing her temper and throwing the first hit.. But either way. No matter how they see it. It's Tracy's presence that is screwing this up..
But as far I understand. For the way my dad is acting is not really my dad. His brothers and sisters has noticed a change in him. I noticed it too. But I didn't think of it as this and as my Uncle Scott basically told me and Lena(DevilPanda) in a way for us to understand. My dad is trying to act like a teenager again in a way trying to fit in with today's crazy world. Of "Let's do this and have fun and handle the problems later" type of deal.
I just got home with my mom and Lena from my Aunt's house where they talked to us. Gave my mom advice. And my mom called her family in Florida and talked to her Mom Her Aunt (My Great Aunt) and Sister of the situation. And so far they said the same thing as my Aunt did. But told my mom if it gets bad move back to Florida with me and Lena with her. And so far. My mom is planning that. So if my dad don't come to his senses. Coming this summer when Lena is out of school we may be moving to Florida.
Well I have a computer if I move? Idk. Not unless if I can get my Laptop fixed. But I can say this. From here on out. Whatever commissions I get. Is heading towards my mom to help pay Bills Gas and Food. Cause my dad being out of work and this has screwed things up for alot of things. Specially the trip to Florida to visit unendingnightmare this January for her birthday.. Cause whatever money I had earned from the lack of Babysitting or Shana not having the money to pay me went to my mom to pay for gas and food. Heck I had to use what was left to buy me and Lena supper. Which I don't mind. I'm not gonna let Lena starve.
But right now. My dad already have his bags packed and may leave after New Year's... I'm still depressed and stressing over this that it has made me extremely sleepy. And I usually sleep off my stress to feel better afterwords. But I am unable to do that at this time.. Maybe I will after this Journal. But I do want to thank for the comments on the last journal and support and I am grateful to have friends like you all. Thank you *hugs*
As of right now. My mom and dad are not really talking. My dad is pissed cause Tracy won't talk to him nor see him for what reason? I do not know. But they are talking SLIGHTLY. But I know for sure that it is gonna be a long road ahead with change if my parents do really decide to divorce. So far. Everyone says for my folks to move separate ways and not see one another til they either calm down and get their stress down and get back to a healthy state (my mom) and for the other to realize what he would lose if he continues what he is doing (my dad).
Now I do love my dad. I still do and will always love him. No matter what. But I want my DAD back not this guy who is trying to act like he's a teenager again. We kids are post to learn from our parents. Right? Not the parents learning from us kids (Even though I am 21 and consider a adult now but still).
So... I have a choice. Go with my mom and Lena. Or stay with my dad. Honestly where ever Lena goes. I'm there. If some of you know. Me and my sister (DevilPanda) are close sisters and we love eachother. Yes we Fight get on eachother's Nerves Annoy one another and all the stuff that siblings do. But we love one another and we watch eachother's backs. So yeah. My choice is my mom. Like I said in the last Journal. I am really close to her. I am a Daddy's Girl. I will admit that. But I go to my mom for alot of things and whatnot.
But all in all. I am still stressed. Crying on and off. Mostly from seeing my mom cry. Or hearing Lena's thoughts on this. But I have calm down alot from the last journal. I was mad and hurt that I couldn't think straight when I wrote it. Now that I am filled in. I'm ok enough to fill you all in on what's is going on. I appreciated the help comfort. And I love you all for it.
BUT Please go to
and let her know she's not alone either. She's my IRL sister and she's taking all this harder then me since she told me she had thoughts of cutting herself... And when my parents were fighting. She ran out crying.. So please. Go give her some comfort as well. I'm sure hearing some of you helping her will help her out alot. Thank you.
But as far I understand. For the way my dad is acting is not really my dad. His brothers and sisters has noticed a change in him. I noticed it too. But I didn't think of it as this and as my Uncle Scott basically told me and Lena(DevilPanda) in a way for us to understand. My dad is trying to act like a teenager again in a way trying to fit in with today's crazy world. Of "Let's do this and have fun and handle the problems later" type of deal.
I just got home with my mom and Lena from my Aunt's house where they talked to us. Gave my mom advice. And my mom called her family in Florida and talked to her Mom Her Aunt (My Great Aunt) and Sister of the situation. And so far they said the same thing as my Aunt did. But told my mom if it gets bad move back to Florida with me and Lena with her. And so far. My mom is planning that. So if my dad don't come to his senses. Coming this summer when Lena is out of school we may be moving to Florida.
Well I have a computer if I move? Idk. Not unless if I can get my Laptop fixed. But I can say this. From here on out. Whatever commissions I get. Is heading towards my mom to help pay Bills Gas and Food. Cause my dad being out of work and this has screwed things up for alot of things. Specially the trip to Florida to visit unendingnightmare this January for her birthday.. Cause whatever money I had earned from the lack of Babysitting or Shana not having the money to pay me went to my mom to pay for gas and food. Heck I had to use what was left to buy me and Lena supper. Which I don't mind. I'm not gonna let Lena starve.
But right now. My dad already have his bags packed and may leave after New Year's... I'm still depressed and stressing over this that it has made me extremely sleepy. And I usually sleep off my stress to feel better afterwords. But I am unable to do that at this time.. Maybe I will after this Journal. But I do want to thank for the comments on the last journal and support and I am grateful to have friends like you all. Thank you *hugs*
As of right now. My mom and dad are not really talking. My dad is pissed cause Tracy won't talk to him nor see him for what reason? I do not know. But they are talking SLIGHTLY. But I know for sure that it is gonna be a long road ahead with change if my parents do really decide to divorce. So far. Everyone says for my folks to move separate ways and not see one another til they either calm down and get their stress down and get back to a healthy state (my mom) and for the other to realize what he would lose if he continues what he is doing (my dad).
Now I do love my dad. I still do and will always love him. No matter what. But I want my DAD back not this guy who is trying to act like he's a teenager again. We kids are post to learn from our parents. Right? Not the parents learning from us kids (Even though I am 21 and consider a adult now but still).
So... I have a choice. Go with my mom and Lena. Or stay with my dad. Honestly where ever Lena goes. I'm there. If some of you know. Me and my sister (DevilPanda) are close sisters and we love eachother. Yes we Fight get on eachother's Nerves Annoy one another and all the stuff that siblings do. But we love one another and we watch eachother's backs. So yeah. My choice is my mom. Like I said in the last Journal. I am really close to her. I am a Daddy's Girl. I will admit that. But I go to my mom for alot of things and whatnot.
But all in all. I am still stressed. Crying on and off. Mostly from seeing my mom cry. Or hearing Lena's thoughts on this. But I have calm down alot from the last journal. I was mad and hurt that I couldn't think straight when I wrote it. Now that I am filled in. I'm ok enough to fill you all in on what's is going on. I appreciated the help comfort. And I love you all for it.
BUT Please go to
and let her know she's not alone either. She's my IRL sister and she's taking all this harder then me since she told me she had thoughts of cutting herself... And when my parents were fighting. She ran out crying.. So please. Go give her some comfort as well. I'm sure hearing some of you helping her will help her out alot. Thank you. 
But what I'm more worried about is, will this in any way jeopardize our contacting each other? You'll still have a computer, right? What about your laptop? Is that still gonna be fixed? I wanna be able to webcam with you every night like we used to... I'm missing that already... ;_; I hope no matter what happens, we won't be separated... ::hugs tight::