*This is just a random little journal going over a few things that have happened during this year of 2012 and some things I wanted to talk about just for the heck of it. I feel this is a nice little closure to the year so if your interested than read on~ If not then Happy new years to you and hope you all stay safe when the ball drops.*

This year has been rather interesting. It started off pretty decent and seems to have ended with less than satisfactory results. However, one thing was constant throughout this whole year and it actually kind of bothers me even now. And that is the fact that nothing really seemed to change. The usual outcomes followed and for the most part, this year felt stagnant to me. Nothing really seemed to change for me. And it's not because I haven't done anything or haven't tried to make progress with certain things. It's just how they came to be. But before we get into all that, let me go over a quick little pro/con list.

This year has been pretty productive for me artwise and I'm very proud of myself for that fact. I drew a lot more than I did the previous year and can honestly say I have drawn almost every single month this year. It kind of dropped off towards the end but I'll talk about why later. While I may not have drawn as much as I wanted, I definitely did more than the year before and that is progress. Hopefully I'll be able to keep going with this momentum and continue to produce more art for myself and others. Also, a rather significant change has taken place in my life and that was moving out of my dads house. While I may have just moved to my mothers apartment, this was huge for me. It gave me a fresh new start and shifted my comfort zone just enough to motivate me to do more. Having lived at my dad's house for almost 10+ years now, it was time for a change in scenery. Also this year, I've managed to further discover more about who I am as a person and what I'm really all about. Some of it wasn't so nice to find out but I don't regret being able to learn more about what makes me who I am. And I'll be able to take on the new year with the knowledge that I've gained from the previous year.

Now onto the cons. This goes back to what I said earlier about the stagnation of this year. It was literally a repeat of the previous year. Only difference was, I haven't had a job this entire time. And I know I'm to blame for most of that. I even tried to go back to school which is something I've always wanted to do but it never happened. And of course, it always had to do with money. Not only that, but slowly and surely, my privileges were getting revoked. For good reason of course but it makes things a bit more difficult when people can't get a hold of you if you don't have a cell phone or you can't drive to your job interview. Speaking of jobs, I couldn't even land a job that was pretty much guaranteed to me, simply because the manager was dicking around and not contacting me despite my many attempts to get a hold of him. The job even came with a place to live which would have been perfect for me. But that never took off and I just gave up on it. If he's not even going to respond to me when I'm not even working there yet, how am I supposed to trust him if I actually had the job? The worst part was, the assistant manager told me directly that I was one of the better potential employees that they had trained and was sure I would get the job. So much for that. And, as icing on this negativity cake, once again I've found myself single. I hate having to say this out loud but this is my con list and that is a con for me personally. I'm just getting tired of putting my all into everything, only to have it slammed right back in my face. It makes me wonder why I even try at all and why I put myself through that kind of torture. Can never seem to make it past a full year in a relationship without something wrong happening to me. And of course, they always tell me I'm such a nice guy and that I'll find someone eventually. Well thanks for pouring salt over my gaping wound.

I don't want to drag things on for too long so I'll try to make this quick. Being a human being is hard, but I wouldn't want to be anything else. We're able to experience the deepest emotions that our body can handle from every single side of the spectrum. Whether it's the joy you feel when your with friends, the sadness of losing someone close to you, the anger of someone betraying you, or the sympathy you observe when your around others who need you, among many other emotions. While this past year has had it's high ups and deepest lows for me, they are a part of me and forever will be. And I continue to learn and grow with every passing moment. And it drives me to continue living to the best of my ability and experience more of what life has to offer me. While I don't know what other good or bad times await me in my future, I'll continue to experience life as intended of a human being. As this quirky little human named Mike~

Happy New Years everyone and may you continue to experience life to it's fullest~