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So begins 2013.. not with a bang but. with a tear.
13 years ago
General
Know that I don't always know what I'm going to say. Games, Entertainment, Self, Weather, Politics, Events, History, Philosophy, all are fair game and any are free without the waring eyes of family or work.
2012 was a year of changes. I met some new friends, made some new habits, and maybe just blew it all away at the start of 2013. I love my friends, I try to do things with them all the time, and we've seen a lot of each other in the past month... I enjoyed that. It's hard to meet such synergistic companions. But I'm tired of ending my nights with excuses, hurt feelings, and someone else problems. I want to move forward, find a job, find a home, find a family.. and I need help doing so.. but I need honesty with everyone and I seen tonight how little I get.
To one in particular, I was angry because I knew something was going on. I could SEE IT, and I'm sorry for reacting that way. I can understand if you don't want to talk to me for a while... but if you came out and told me the FLAT TRUTH I would have been much more understanding. My emotions are a domino effect, you knock one off and there's a chain reaction forming. I wish it wasn't you who I butted heads with all the time, hell I hate acting like my father, you KNOW how much I hate my father.
To another in particular, I want to be over you, It's frustrating to sit here and for a change want to be angry, but I can't, that's how much i care about you. I'm sick of feeling for what will never be! But I still want you as my friend, and I want to do things with you like video games and movies and just spending time together. I know you don't have feelings for me,. I don't mean to put you in an uncomfortable situation. But talk to ME please. Not ask someone else for you. If I am your friend, I want that much of a trust that we can talk to each other about anything. our problems as well as our joys. if you rather use your phone, use it. If you rather talk in person, fine. But If you rather I just bum fuck leave you alone, SAY SO. I deserve that much.
I don't know where to go from here. I want things to get better, I want us to love each other again. I want to trust people again. I welcome those I spoke towards to FA note, text, skype, phone or whatever.. just be ready to listen as well as talk.
To one in particular, I was angry because I knew something was going on. I could SEE IT, and I'm sorry for reacting that way. I can understand if you don't want to talk to me for a while... but if you came out and told me the FLAT TRUTH I would have been much more understanding. My emotions are a domino effect, you knock one off and there's a chain reaction forming. I wish it wasn't you who I butted heads with all the time, hell I hate acting like my father, you KNOW how much I hate my father.
To another in particular, I want to be over you, It's frustrating to sit here and for a change want to be angry, but I can't, that's how much i care about you. I'm sick of feeling for what will never be! But I still want you as my friend, and I want to do things with you like video games and movies and just spending time together. I know you don't have feelings for me,. I don't mean to put you in an uncomfortable situation. But talk to ME please. Not ask someone else for you. If I am your friend, I want that much of a trust that we can talk to each other about anything. our problems as well as our joys. if you rather use your phone, use it. If you rather talk in person, fine. But If you rather I just bum fuck leave you alone, SAY SO. I deserve that much.
I don't know where to go from here. I want things to get better, I want us to love each other again. I want to trust people again. I welcome those I spoke towards to FA note, text, skype, phone or whatever.. just be ready to listen as well as talk.
