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2012 - The Good & The Bad
13 years ago
General
Greetings One & All
Whenever asked "Would you like the good news or the bad news first?", I always take the bad news first. Simply because I want to get bad out of the way & end with happy thoughts. SO...to review 2012, let's start with the bad & get it out of the way & end with what was good!!
At the beginning of 2012, Rhubarb the Bear moved to Florida to be with Cosmik. Rhu & I have been friends a very long time (right at 20 years) and it was so hard to say good bye to him. But I know the move was best for him. And who am I to stop him from being with the guy he loves. And, of course, Rhu is reason I'm in the fandom!! It's all his fault!!!
As many remember, at the end of 2011, I had just lost my dad. It sucked, but looking back, now I think I was just numb. It was so sudden & unexpected. But now, a year later, the real pain has set in. During the past 12 months, I have had to deal with lawyers, banks, insurance companies, hospitals, doctors and my brothers. One afternoon I sat in the lawyers office. We were discussing the breakdown of my parents estate....You know it doesn't look good for you when the lawyer says, "No matter how this happens, you're getting screwed!". I tried to keep positive & go with the hope & prayer that my brothers were not really as mean as the lawyer made it sound.....HELLO SLAP OF REALITY!!!!! I never dreamed, not for a moment, that things would get so intense!!! Sumr (my friend & boss) is to the point that she's ready to lock the door when my brother shows up at the office, because he is putting me in such a mental tizzy. This is my brother that loaned all of my MegaPlex trip money to so he could move. (Which, by the way, he's only paid me back a little over half.) He's in the shape he's in because of choices HE made. He may not be completely innocent, I still feel like he's getting railroaded. This is also the same brother that had a stroke 2 days before my birthday. He still hasn't recovered. He's under a ton of pressure & is in my face to make things a bit better. HELLO....I'm one person & can't do anything until the courts say I can. My other brother lives a couple of hours away, so I don't have to see or talk to him nearly as often. But since he's not here, he's expecting me to enforce his wishes concerning his part of the inheritance (my parents' house). The only good thing I can say is that this part of the nightmare is almost over. I keep telling myself that things will ease up soon.
I also have had to fight the 'childhood demons' that come in & wreck havoc with my thoughts. It seems like that when that happens, I end up in a valley of depression, questioning everything I think I know. I know others deal with it too & it helps knowing that at anytime, there are others that are willing to offer some encouraging words! Even as I write this, I'm still trying to deal with unintentional hurts.
As I sit here & think about the last 12 months, I realize that the good really does outweigh the bad. It's just that the bad all seems to have peaked right here at the end of 2012.
Let's focus on the good stuff:
Two of my co-workers are now in the fandom!! Tink & Sumr!!!
I got some AMAZING art over the past 12 months!!! The talent out there is mind-blowing!!!
I went to FWA, Wild Nights, MegaPlex, MFM, MFF & F3!! Each one was amazing!!! I got to see some friends that I had not seen in some time (IsfaCat, Rhubarb, Tonka, Max, Cosmik, Dipper/MaxGoof, Calamity, WeaselZero, Dineegla, MuscleWolf, Blue Eyed Wolf, Big Wolf Paws, TipToe to name a few)!!! I got to meet some fur friends that I had only talked with online (Gen, Uriel, WolfTeller, CharlesMarker, LimpingGnome, Ryan White, KB, Draggy, DemiFur, Blackwell Bear, beaglederp, Treesan)!! I got to meet some of my favorite artists (Gen, KB, Draggy)!! Matthew Ebel stuck his thumb up my nose!!! I also got to meet brand new people (Shane_LaFleur, WolfWings, dokatrall, TheGreatFaboo, ChocolateMuscle & others)!!!
I have been re-reading my previous journals.....I can see the highs in my year (going to cons) & the lows (dealing with my family). Man....I whine alot!!!
Before I go, I want you to know that meeting you (online or in person) has helped make 2012 bearable (insert own joke here)! I am blessed beyond words just knowing that there are people out there (some that I may never get to meet face-to-face) that have my back. I believe in reaping & sowing. And when it comes to my friends, I try to sow only the best stuff I have to offer!!
Thank you so much for you being you. And for letting me be me without fear of....well, just fear in general. I love you very much!!
I know I have more to say, but it's late & I can't think anymore. Soooo......
Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013!!
At the beginning of 2012, Rhubarb the Bear moved to Florida to be with Cosmik. Rhu & I have been friends a very long time (right at 20 years) and it was so hard to say good bye to him. But I know the move was best for him. And who am I to stop him from being with the guy he loves. And, of course, Rhu is reason I'm in the fandom!! It's all his fault!!!
As many remember, at the end of 2011, I had just lost my dad. It sucked, but looking back, now I think I was just numb. It was so sudden & unexpected. But now, a year later, the real pain has set in. During the past 12 months, I have had to deal with lawyers, banks, insurance companies, hospitals, doctors and my brothers. One afternoon I sat in the lawyers office. We were discussing the breakdown of my parents estate....You know it doesn't look good for you when the lawyer says, "No matter how this happens, you're getting screwed!". I tried to keep positive & go with the hope & prayer that my brothers were not really as mean as the lawyer made it sound.....HELLO SLAP OF REALITY!!!!! I never dreamed, not for a moment, that things would get so intense!!! Sumr (my friend & boss) is to the point that she's ready to lock the door when my brother shows up at the office, because he is putting me in such a mental tizzy. This is my brother that loaned all of my MegaPlex trip money to so he could move. (Which, by the way, he's only paid me back a little over half.) He's in the shape he's in because of choices HE made. He may not be completely innocent, I still feel like he's getting railroaded. This is also the same brother that had a stroke 2 days before my birthday. He still hasn't recovered. He's under a ton of pressure & is in my face to make things a bit better. HELLO....I'm one person & can't do anything until the courts say I can. My other brother lives a couple of hours away, so I don't have to see or talk to him nearly as often. But since he's not here, he's expecting me to enforce his wishes concerning his part of the inheritance (my parents' house). The only good thing I can say is that this part of the nightmare is almost over. I keep telling myself that things will ease up soon.
I also have had to fight the 'childhood demons' that come in & wreck havoc with my thoughts. It seems like that when that happens, I end up in a valley of depression, questioning everything I think I know. I know others deal with it too & it helps knowing that at anytime, there are others that are willing to offer some encouraging words! Even as I write this, I'm still trying to deal with unintentional hurts.
As I sit here & think about the last 12 months, I realize that the good really does outweigh the bad. It's just that the bad all seems to have peaked right here at the end of 2012.
Let's focus on the good stuff:
Two of my co-workers are now in the fandom!! Tink & Sumr!!!
I got some AMAZING art over the past 12 months!!! The talent out there is mind-blowing!!!
I went to FWA, Wild Nights, MegaPlex, MFM, MFF & F3!! Each one was amazing!!! I got to see some friends that I had not seen in some time (IsfaCat, Rhubarb, Tonka, Max, Cosmik, Dipper/MaxGoof, Calamity, WeaselZero, Dineegla, MuscleWolf, Blue Eyed Wolf, Big Wolf Paws, TipToe to name a few)!!! I got to meet some fur friends that I had only talked with online (Gen, Uriel, WolfTeller, CharlesMarker, LimpingGnome, Ryan White, KB, Draggy, DemiFur, Blackwell Bear, beaglederp, Treesan)!! I got to meet some of my favorite artists (Gen, KB, Draggy)!! Matthew Ebel stuck his thumb up my nose!!! I also got to meet brand new people (Shane_LaFleur, WolfWings, dokatrall, TheGreatFaboo, ChocolateMuscle & others)!!!
I have been re-reading my previous journals.....I can see the highs in my year (going to cons) & the lows (dealing with my family). Man....I whine alot!!!
Before I go, I want you to know that meeting you (online or in person) has helped make 2012 bearable (insert own joke here)! I am blessed beyond words just knowing that there are people out there (some that I may never get to meet face-to-face) that have my back. I believe in reaping & sowing. And when it comes to my friends, I try to sow only the best stuff I have to offer!!
Thank you so much for you being you. And for letting me be me without fear of....well, just fear in general. I love you very much!!
I know I have more to say, but it's late & I can't think anymore. Soooo......
Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013!!
you have been through some things no-one as kind as you should ever have to deal with.
You deserve all the happyness and good things I can think of and hope you will get just that.
Whatever happens Hollie, be it inner demons or real life mean people, remember that you can always talk to me, and so many others here that love you, whenever you need it.
Don't ever hesitate.
*hug*
And I appreciate the confirmation about being able to speak with you! You are actually one of the people that crossed my mind when I was writing about someone having my back! *hugs* I do hope to meet you someday.
As for Rhubarb. How dare he entice us then move so far away.
More hugs Holly. You are an amazing fun person. I hope to see you get invovled with the Variety show more.
Yes, Rhubarb, that silly bear!! Still love the socks off of him!!
As for the Variety show....Maybe.
Can't wait to see you again at the next con :)
Still up in the air about FWA. But MegaPlex is a definate go!!!!
If things work out right, I will be at MFF 2013 also!!