In lieu of a real life update, have a peek into my life by moderately-probing numbers.

How old when you first:
Fell in love?
Puppy love: 14; something mature: 17

Lost your virginity?
22

Lost someone close to you?
6

Consumed alcohol?
18

Received a kiss?
16

Went to the hospital?
3

Had a broken heart?
14

Lost a pet?
Never. That sucker's a survivor.

Got arrested?
Never. Close calls, though.

Broke a bone?
Never

Got a job?
14

Got a boyfriend or girlfriend?
16

Went to a concert?
9

Met someone famous?
9

Got in a car wreck?
22

Dyed your hair?
Temporary: 19. Permanent: 22

Flew on an airplane?
10

Went to another state?
16 months at the absolute latest.

Got a tattoo?
Contemplating

Had a piercing?
Never

Smoked pot?
Never

Smoked a cigarette?
Never

Went to Disney Land or World?
10

How many do or have you had?
Long term relationships
0 (Longest managed 4 months. That's too short to count as long-term in my books)

Dates with somebody of anther race?
12 specific dates I can think of

Times your heart has been broken
5

Times you passed out from drinking
None

Pets
1

People you hate
0

Times you were dumped
2ish

Times you dumped somebody
2