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Addiction to the internet.
13 years ago
General
So, I have a very.. stubborn mindset. I dislike admitting weakness and I especially dislike it when I know that it's for the best.
Because then it means that I really need to be responsible.
So I'm going to say this now and probably struggle with actually going through with it. But it's much easier then dealing
with the actual consequences of not following through. But I basically need to re-think how I work and how I function.
Last quarter at my college I failed classes that I should have passes. A large portion of that was due to depression. But..
at the same time, a lot of it was because when I should have been working, I was messaging my furry buddies.
This makes sense to me since I've been doing it since forever. I mean, you guys have helped me through my trans issues,
made me feel welcomed and comforted when everything else seemed lost, and generally made me feel 10x happier when I
talk with ya. You guys are a HUGE emotional comfort to me. and I LOVE that.
But, because I cling, I tend to cling hard, and I've suffered for it. I spent late nights looking at furry porn and IMing friends
instead of working on projects. I'd get distracted by reddit or furaffinity and then never get back to my work. I know
people use ADHD as an excuse, but there are times when I see why I have it. I'll be working on something for 5 minutes,
but then I'll see an IM pop up and then 2 hours later realize "oh wait, I just barely got further on this 3D model.." then
feel guilty, work for 5 minutes, wash rinse repeat with another IM or some other distraction. It's a detriment to my studies
and I'm tiredof not going anywhere with my art.
So basically, I need to stop signing onto messengers as the first thing I do when I log onto a computer. I need to limit my
access to FA and other sites as a reminder I should be doing other work. Am I leaving? Oh heavens no. But I'm not going
to be online anywhere near as often. (if anything, I may log on to talk to only ONE person). Otherwise, I always have text
if you REALLY need to contact me.
Love you all.
PS: still going to TFF. No way in hell I'm passing that opportunity up.
Because then it means that I really need to be responsible.
So I'm going to say this now and probably struggle with actually going through with it. But it's much easier then dealing
with the actual consequences of not following through. But I basically need to re-think how I work and how I function.
Last quarter at my college I failed classes that I should have passes. A large portion of that was due to depression. But..
at the same time, a lot of it was because when I should have been working, I was messaging my furry buddies.
This makes sense to me since I've been doing it since forever. I mean, you guys have helped me through my trans issues,
made me feel welcomed and comforted when everything else seemed lost, and generally made me feel 10x happier when I
talk with ya. You guys are a HUGE emotional comfort to me. and I LOVE that.
But, because I cling, I tend to cling hard, and I've suffered for it. I spent late nights looking at furry porn and IMing friends
instead of working on projects. I'd get distracted by reddit or furaffinity and then never get back to my work. I know
people use ADHD as an excuse, but there are times when I see why I have it. I'll be working on something for 5 minutes,
but then I'll see an IM pop up and then 2 hours later realize "oh wait, I just barely got further on this 3D model.." then
feel guilty, work for 5 minutes, wash rinse repeat with another IM or some other distraction. It's a detriment to my studies
and I'm tiredof not going anywhere with my art.
So basically, I need to stop signing onto messengers as the first thing I do when I log onto a computer. I need to limit my
access to FA and other sites as a reminder I should be doing other work. Am I leaving? Oh heavens no. But I'm not going
to be online anywhere near as often. (if anything, I may log on to talk to only ONE person). Otherwise, I always have text
if you REALLY need to contact me.
Love you all.
PS: still going to TFF. No way in hell I'm passing that opportunity up.
or when you are done with work. use it as a reward.
I will miss chatting with you but if you need to focus on schoolwork that's totally understandable. I need to focus on work more :3