Where to begin?

First off, I received the ashes of Lady yesterday. It took a healthy glass of wine and some privacy to take a look at what all was included, but I must take the time here to thank Wolf's parents for providing the pet memorial services. Her ashes came in a nice wooden box, they included a snippet of her fur, and there was also a memorial thing of some sort of cast resin that has her name and pawprint cast in. Of course I cried a couple times when going through that. There was also a death certificate of sorts, which I'm not sure how I feel about. It looks suitable for framing, but why would you ever want to put something on the wall that serves only to remind you of the death? The other parts at least have a connection to her life, but a piece of paper that just says her name and the day she died? I dunno. I just don't get it. I hope I can at least borrow the memorials for the other 2 dogs for a short time to do a sort of memorial/wake for myself, and maybe the other household members that feel as close to them as I did.

On a happier note. All 3 passengers are recovering nicely. I really wasn't feeling any physical progress until the last 24 hours. I can now take a few steps without a cane or another assistance. Dusk is now back home and is even able to drive and will be working from home. Yesterday he took me to the store so we both could do a bit of shopping and we both got around okay, but at the end, I was hurting pretty bad. My mobility definitely has limits. Emptyset was able to attend FC, and I think Dusk might go later today. I'm happy both of them are getting along well. I don't think I could attend the convention even if I felt physically able.

This brings me to what it feels like losing Wolf. We were best friends, roommates, and even more at times. We enjoyed most of the same hobbies and activities and most everything we did was together. I keep wondering what I will do now. I'm not the easiest person to get to know, nor put up with. Will I ever find someone to replace even a portion of what we had? If not, I just feel like my life will be damn lonely from now on. That's not to say I don't have other similarly compatible friends, but when also live with one, it created a fullness in my life that almost seems like it will never be replaced. How can I look at that as anything other than depressing?

Strangely enough, it feels like this has brought me closer to others, especially those involved in the crash. Is this common? I know it was a life-changing event for us all, but why would, essentially a near-death experience make you closer to the others involved? I'm not complaining, just thinking out loud.

I will post pics of some of Lady's memorial stuff soon, and may be looking for someone who can do some decorative wood-burning on the box containing her ashes. CNC engraving was also suggested, but I'll have to look into that. I just want to make it more special.

Lastly for now, I want to thank EVERYONE who offered condolences, prayers, kind words or anything. Each and every one helped more than you could know. In reversed situations, I have often been afraid to say anything because I was afraid I'd say the wrong thing and make the situation worse. Now, after living through it, I will try to change that. I never realized how much such a small token could mean in such a tragic time. Thank you all again and BIG life-lesson learned.

I almost forgot to add, all the dogs have made nearly a 100% recovery. Nika, my dog who did survive, and myself, owe a great thanks to someone here who took his time and skills to accomplish that. You know who you are, and I can never thank you enough. It was the best couch surgery I have ever witnessed, and not just because it was the only couch surgery I have ever witness.


I've rambled on enough for now. Maybe I'll come up with more thoughts soon, but for now, I just want to thank everyone who has been there to offer any sort of support. It was not wasted.