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Moving out or moving up?
13 years ago
General
So... my last post made me think. Really it did. I could make this post a lot longer- but you wouldn't want to read all that.
So in short: I have a decent job. It pays a low "living" wage. I'm happy enough with it, and now I have a pay scale at the very least; which means any future jobs I fall in will make around the same amount of money (or more).
The big question on my mind of course was moving out. But the real question is why. What benefits would moving out give me?
-Makes me more independent then dependant
-Its a responsible Investment
-Have a place I can invite friends over to
-Potentially closer to work
-Look less like a "looser" living in his "parents basement" <- and the more I thought about this one... the more I asked "Why does this make me a "looser"?
One thing about American culture: were a little self centered. In Europe, India, and Asia you get Generational homes. Where the children will take care of the parents, and the parents will take care of the grandparents as they age. A lot of Americans find this "revolting". When you look at it, population wise... we are the minority that think that this generational home idea is a bad thing.
Do I allways get along with my parents? Of course not. Is it nice to get out? Heck yeah. I'd die of bordem without my own vehicle.
But in the end, they've done a lot for me. And they are not pushing me out the door at all. Infact they prefer me to stay here. I mean, what do I have to complain about? We get along well and I honestly owe them a lot.
My parents are starting to get old. In 10-15 years they would be full fledged senior citizens that would benefit from a caretaker. Is this such a bad thing that I could give back to them when that time comes? While I respect the Single Family home model; lets face it. I'm single. I have no desire to have a family of my own. This model doesn't work for me.
But back to the pros and Cons. I listed five "pros" for moving out. And really, only the first three are the only big ones that would matter to me.
Lets go over the cons of moving. A few of these make me cringe.
-Have to budget for EVERYTHING (Food, Clothes, Electricity yadda yadda)
-Have to buy a Truck or give up the boat (And I like the boat n.n)
-Have to move all my Shit. And believe me. I'd have a LOT that would need to move or get tossed n.n
-Would be on a much tighter budget, means cutting back on "fun things" Though- this is part of the Responsibility.
-Have to get a place with a Garage or again, ditch the boat :/
-Either live alone or find a roomate. And if I have a roomate- really whats the difference in the end? I'm still depending on someone....
-And if I live alone, there would be times I'd feel lonely. A pet would help... but I've had a number of my friends who are single and live alone tell me this is a factor for that lifestyle.
After thinking this through hard, I asked why do I want to move? Because society tells me I need to move out because I'm an American and I'm lazy and useless to society if I live with my parents as an adult? Really?
In the end.. that's all that's really left for me right now. Moving out would be painful and my parents don't want me to move.
But then they'res that whole "well if your making all this money and sitting on your ass your pathetic bit". And that did gnaw on me. Not having some responsibility with my current level of money. Oh sure... I could save it. But its much more gratifying getting something out of my money rather then just sitting there hoarding it like a great wyrm.
Then I thought, and paced, and thought some more. Suddenly a lightbulb chimed on. I did a quick check on Craigslist to see if it was feasible. And was actually, quite surprised.
I thought to myself "Well if I didn't move... and had this extra money... could I afford a place to escape to away from home? You know... like an office or something..." I paced around some more.. thinking back to what I did on Monday that really helped make my day, and brightened a few of my friends "...A photography studio?"
It deserves a post, or two of itself. And I'm sure it would get that. But after discussing it with my parents, they are supportive of it.
I used to have a small business. I enjoyed it. It did give me a level of responsibility. Now I realize I don't have the time for a Full Time business nor can I afford to give up my day job- not when I'm content doing it and am paid well.
The idea of a studio intrigues me. And its cheaper to live at home AND own a studio even if I were never to do anything with it as an actual business that takes money then to move out and pay rent on my own. This took me by suprise.
Having a Small Business again, even one where I would consider it a "loss" takes a lot of responsibility. It requires budgeting and time management, just as much as moving out would. But in the end, which would be more rewarding?
It would also answer the following:
-Makes me more independent
-Its a responsible Investment
-Have a place I can invite friends over to
Most of my friends live on their own. Some by choice, others by necessity.
How many of my friends own something like a Photography Studio? Not very many can say that.
I don't want to make a living on Photography. I don't want to have to rely on it as my PRIMARY source of income. When I had to do that... it really burned me out. But having a creative outlet that I could escape to whenever I had the muse to do so? That would be like a dream.
So yeah. You may ask "why don't you move out like every other American" and "why would you want to burn money on a "hobby" like that?"
And my response would be "Why?" and... "Why not..."
So in short: I have a decent job. It pays a low "living" wage. I'm happy enough with it, and now I have a pay scale at the very least; which means any future jobs I fall in will make around the same amount of money (or more).
The big question on my mind of course was moving out. But the real question is why. What benefits would moving out give me?
-Makes me more independent then dependant
-Its a responsible Investment
-Have a place I can invite friends over to
-Potentially closer to work
-Look less like a "looser" living in his "parents basement" <- and the more I thought about this one... the more I asked "Why does this make me a "looser"?
One thing about American culture: were a little self centered. In Europe, India, and Asia you get Generational homes. Where the children will take care of the parents, and the parents will take care of the grandparents as they age. A lot of Americans find this "revolting". When you look at it, population wise... we are the minority that think that this generational home idea is a bad thing.
Do I allways get along with my parents? Of course not. Is it nice to get out? Heck yeah. I'd die of bordem without my own vehicle.
But in the end, they've done a lot for me. And they are not pushing me out the door at all. Infact they prefer me to stay here. I mean, what do I have to complain about? We get along well and I honestly owe them a lot.
My parents are starting to get old. In 10-15 years they would be full fledged senior citizens that would benefit from a caretaker. Is this such a bad thing that I could give back to them when that time comes? While I respect the Single Family home model; lets face it. I'm single. I have no desire to have a family of my own. This model doesn't work for me.
But back to the pros and Cons. I listed five "pros" for moving out. And really, only the first three are the only big ones that would matter to me.
Lets go over the cons of moving. A few of these make me cringe.
-Have to budget for EVERYTHING (Food, Clothes, Electricity yadda yadda)
-Have to buy a Truck or give up the boat (And I like the boat n.n)
-Have to move all my Shit. And believe me. I'd have a LOT that would need to move or get tossed n.n
-Would be on a much tighter budget, means cutting back on "fun things" Though- this is part of the Responsibility.
-Have to get a place with a Garage or again, ditch the boat :/
-Either live alone or find a roomate. And if I have a roomate- really whats the difference in the end? I'm still depending on someone....
-And if I live alone, there would be times I'd feel lonely. A pet would help... but I've had a number of my friends who are single and live alone tell me this is a factor for that lifestyle.
After thinking this through hard, I asked why do I want to move? Because society tells me I need to move out because I'm an American and I'm lazy and useless to society if I live with my parents as an adult? Really?
In the end.. that's all that's really left for me right now. Moving out would be painful and my parents don't want me to move.
But then they'res that whole "well if your making all this money and sitting on your ass your pathetic bit". And that did gnaw on me. Not having some responsibility with my current level of money. Oh sure... I could save it. But its much more gratifying getting something out of my money rather then just sitting there hoarding it like a great wyrm.
Then I thought, and paced, and thought some more. Suddenly a lightbulb chimed on. I did a quick check on Craigslist to see if it was feasible. And was actually, quite surprised.
I thought to myself "Well if I didn't move... and had this extra money... could I afford a place to escape to away from home? You know... like an office or something..." I paced around some more.. thinking back to what I did on Monday that really helped make my day, and brightened a few of my friends "...A photography studio?"
It deserves a post, or two of itself. And I'm sure it would get that. But after discussing it with my parents, they are supportive of it.
I used to have a small business. I enjoyed it. It did give me a level of responsibility. Now I realize I don't have the time for a Full Time business nor can I afford to give up my day job- not when I'm content doing it and am paid well.
The idea of a studio intrigues me. And its cheaper to live at home AND own a studio even if I were never to do anything with it as an actual business that takes money then to move out and pay rent on my own. This took me by suprise.
Having a Small Business again, even one where I would consider it a "loss" takes a lot of responsibility. It requires budgeting and time management, just as much as moving out would. But in the end, which would be more rewarding?
It would also answer the following:
-Makes me more independent
-Its a responsible Investment
-Have a place I can invite friends over to
Most of my friends live on their own. Some by choice, others by necessity.
How many of my friends own something like a Photography Studio? Not very many can say that.
I don't want to make a living on Photography. I don't want to have to rely on it as my PRIMARY source of income. When I had to do that... it really burned me out. But having a creative outlet that I could escape to whenever I had the muse to do so? That would be like a dream.
So yeah. You may ask "why don't you move out like every other American" and "why would you want to burn money on a "hobby" like that?"
And my response would be "Why?" and... "Why not..."
I guess what I'm saying is, good for you for doing what works for you. People may question the decision, but the good ones who take a minute to listen to your rationale will be supportive and you'll be better off for living in a way that suits you.
But yes. Valid point. Would be why I would be renting a Studio with the money instead. I could be independent and have a place to escape to; still a place to havie friends over on my own terms. Wouldn't be that bad of a gig, eh? :3
The "generational home" you speak of in other countries is kind of a romanticized idea I think, not reflected by reality. Obviously not all siblings stay there and care for their parents. And economic circumstances intervene, people leave for a better job in the city or in another country, and have to leave their family behind and live on their own even if they would rather stay. It happens elsewhere in the world too, besides this country.
While it's important to set long term goals, I also think you're looking at things too far in advance... You really don't know what your parent's situation will be in 15 years, do you? They may need your help or they may not. My grandpaw turns 90 this year. 90 years old! He can't even go to his high school reunion because there isn't one- he's the only one still alive from his graduating class. In fact, he's the only one still alive from the entire cohort of kids that would have gone to the same school together in different grades. And my grandparents still live independently, albeit with a little help from my mom, who is a senior citizen herself, at 64.
It's stupid to live your life worrying about something that's so far off. If it comes down to your parents needing help in the future, I'm sure you can figure out some arrangement where they move in with you or you move back in with them. None of these decisions you're making have to be permanent in any way. None of these things have to be mutually exclusive. You can move out, still be there for your parents, and still have a photography studio... maybe not immediately, but I think it's something you can work towards doing.
No matter what, I've made the decision that something needs to change. Its very possible the studio turns into an actual side income enough that it pays for itself and a little extra, enough that the concept of living alone and paying insurance and such on multiple vehicles isn't a pain (or having to empty my savings to purchase said vehicle) By that time my parents would have the truck paid off and I could buy it off of them if their driving needs change.
I have decided if I do stay at home for the immediate future on a "living" wage I do need some accomplishment for it. And that in itself is enough for now.
I'm just stuck with the mentality of why I would be in a situation where I would have to sacrifice something, if plan B would mean I could actually live at the same comfort level and have something to gain.
Or sell your boat, as every boat owner knows, the best day of your life is the day you don't own a boat anymore.
Trust me though, this stuff isn't as hard as it sounds, as long as you're pretty responsible. And you sound pretty responsible. When I moved out "for good" I shared a place with another guy I went to high school with and it was a lot of fun and relatively easy to afford with a roommate. Later I got tired of it but by then I had enough to live on my own entirely.
A couple years ago, my mom informed me that they were moving and I had to move all my leftover stuff out of their house. And that's when I knew that I was out for good.