You know, I actually have a friend who's been through the same situation. I think the secret is not dating bisexuals. Unfortunately, us girls seem to be a big draw, and I have a feeling there's a lot of "jailhouse gay" in the furry fandom...which is a shame, as it complete looses the "be true to yourself" thing.

You actually might know my friend, not sure; he's been to Flagstaff a few times, Knaaks/Dan? I would set you two up, but I think that would make me a huge dork ;)

I find your 'jailhouse gay' statement insanily off. I highly doubt that a straight person, guy or girl for that matter, would turn gay do to a fandom. Its more likily that, that is why they came to this fandom in the first place. Straight, gay, or bi before the fandom, not after. Its like claming video games cause teen violence. They don't. Violent teen buy those kind of games, some girl that shuns shooting games isn't going to go out and buy one, then get all crazy and go shoot up a school.

I actually think its the other way around, there are few chicks because there are some many gay furries. And whats actually worse is the fact that girls will clam to be guys to 'fit in', thats not being very truthful to yourself, is it?

Eh, just from personal observation: I rather hope I'm wrong, as it would be terrible for every gay guy out there to have a boyfriend who leaves them for a woman. And it's not so much due to the fandom as due to the population of the fandom, which from my experience, is mostly male.

And I've never actually heard of a girl claiming to be a guy to fit in, but I wouldn't doubt it happens...and with MUCKs and such, it's impossible to tell what genitals the person you're speaking to has.

(I think the teen violence because of video games is a relatively lousy metaphor; you could've used something like "Just because a goldfish swims with salmon doesn't make him a salmon," which would've been slightly more accurate for your point.)

More than half of my online friends are girls that have claimed to be guys at one point or another.

And my corilation is actually better, than your's. Your's would have been better fit for: white people whom have black friends, or something along race lines [Two different types fish, ect.]. Mine how ever delt with teens:Violent game:: People: sexuality. You see, I could easily replace teens with furries and vidoe games with sexuallity in my explaination. Where as your's, is harder to do so, its possible but it doesn't give enough information. Just because a straight guy talks to gays, doesn't make him one. Which is all well and true but thats not really the point. The point is that a straight guy won't choose to play, sexually, with a gay guy, if thats not what he likes, and a bi guy is more inclinded to do so.

And FYI you can't break the fandom apart from the fans. With out the fans there is no fandom.

(And for the record this is the first time I've ever heard of a guy leaving another guy for a girl. Its normally a guy leaving his girl for a guy.)

Hiyas...I happen to be the fox that decided to leave ookaminobaka. I wanted to clear a few things up, since there seems to be a lot of stereotyping going on here. Yes, I'm bisexual, no, I didn't leave Jarrad for a girl. I left Jarrad because I'm screwed up in the head, and I'm just not ready for a commitment at this point. There's a lot of things I still want to try, and to do. There was no girl involved. If I thought Jarrad was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I would have stayed. He's not my first boyfriend. It's not like I decided because of him that I don't want to be with a guy, I want to be with a girl. I'm an equal oppurtunity employer, you could say.

Now, it is true that I have said I would like to try dating a girl, and being with a girl. I've never actually been with a girl, you see, and I think I should try dating and loving a woman before I settle down with someone. I am attracted to both sexes, after all. That said, I don't put constraints on love. If I fall in love with a man anad want to spend the rest of my life with him, than so be it.

It hurts to always see so much stereotyping towards bisexuals. We get shunned from both the gay and straight communities.

All of that said, ookaminobaka is a great guy. I am fortunate to have him as such a good friend, and very happy to have been able to spend the time in a relationship that I spent with him. I wouldn't trade it for anything. He's going to make someone very happy some day.

Somehow, I don't think I'm going to... I have too many issues with abandonment and self image. All the stuff with Henry and my parents and everything has left me sorta a mess. Also sorry for the misunderstanding. From your LJ entry it made it sound like you didn't want to settle down with a guy that you wanted a girl so you could marry her and have a family. Which I think is partly true is it not? Anyways.... Just ignore all the stereotyping. I know it bugs you, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter what they think of you. Just be yourself! Anyways *Hugs* I'll always love you! I mean that.... By the way if you call me 40 years from now and my phone message says P.S. If this is Austin I still love you... you'll know what it means right? *Smiles*

I understand what you're saying, but how can I let it not get to me? Do you know how hard it is? Everyone is giving everyone advice not to date me based on a stupid stereotype. It's not right. And it's not just the few people here, it's everywhere. I mean, have you seen the preview for that black-lady movie coming out? There's bias right in the movie!

I'm not one to usually care about stuff like this, as you know, but for some reason this just really bothers me. What if I fall in love with someone and the only reason it won't work is because I'm bi - something that shouldn't affect anything and that I can't control?

As far as the misunderstanding, it's really ok. You don't have anything to apologise for.

Are you implying that the furry fandom (most of which is composed of bisexual and gay men) are attracted to other men, or with other men, only because of the lack of females in the furry fandom?

That's what I got from your post.

Also, I don't think that 'not dating bisexuals' is the secret. Gay, straight, or bi...if someone is not satisfied in any way, they'll seek to fill the void with another, be it another male or female. It was clear his ex-bf was bi-curious---he didn't know whether he wanted a relationship with a man and he was clearly looking for a woman. That it didn't work out because he's bisexual is the wrong way to look at it. It didn't work out because he was not looking for what Ookaminobaka was (a lasting relationship with another man).

Well said.... And yes it is true. We cared about each other a lot and he did love me. Sometimes things just can't work out. I couldn't be what he needs. He feels bad about it. Like I said we've been friends for a long time. (Still are and always will be) I just wasn't right for him. Love and relationships are complicated things. Especially when looking for that mythological "One" who we can spend the rest of our lives with....

I know him.... *Blushes* Fairly well....

That was in reference to Dan.... We once slept together... (It's a long story... Sadly a big mistake on my part. Not because I don't think he's a nice guy but because I was involved with someone else at the time. ) Infidelity is deffinitely not something I condone. If I could take back my unfaithfulness I would.... The past is the past though...... You can't change it. You can just try your best not to repeat it.

Meh. I'm sorry things happend the way they did for ye :\

But perk up and grab a hold of my arm..Cuz I'm taking you out for ICE CREAM ! OMGEEEE !

yAY Ice Cream!

Wow... It's amazing... I didn't expect anyone to actually read it ... Let alone try and set me up with someone I've slept with, or argue about gay,straight, and bisexual politics in the furry fandom. Which for the record is a stupid thing to argue about. People are individuals and everyone behaves to their own accord. Yes their are sometimes common behavior patterns, but I usually just try and take people on an individual basis. Just because one person does something doesn't mean other people with behave in the exac same way... (Then again I'm the type of guy who has to lick an electrical socket more then once before I realize it's going to hurt me) And by the way thanks Jirashi. I appriciate it. In fact, I aprriciate all the comments. So thank you all!

*chuckles softly* You'd be amazed at what goes on in these journal things hon.

That aside, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. -.- I wish my aim connection had been working...

Anyway, it should be back up in a day or two so expect to see me durring the evenings again. :)

Ummmm....I may not be furry....but I wanted to be with you back then you know. But, I guess it is too late.