You can only go as far as you are willing to go. That is something I was taught the hard way. I put my trust in my family by helping my brother's kids stay fed and healthy for school. I gave up a 40,000 dollar home and a mass of 30k in scholarships. I was going to feel okay about it but my own family turned around and pointed fingers at me saying that my loss is my fault and I am to blame. I grew generous and do not regret it, I just regret putting faith in which is hard to say but it is true that who is my family. I did not once fail to support them or meet their expectations, but when my all too privileged life falls apart on me and the people whom I done so to help turn on me I knew it was a bad idea.

This is just to say that you can't put your trust in everybody, no matter how related or family they are to you, the best bet is to give where you can receive. If you keep giving like me whereas to a point where the only thing you get in return is hate and a slap to the face it becomes hard to remain the person you are. I was a king back home, but here I am nobody important. I learned to enjoy the smaller things in life, like the thankfulness of the next meal, or the company of those around you. Just hang on and keep trying, I know you will find happiness like I did.

I'm sorry, but you haven't acted anywhere near as 'emo' as a lot of people I've come across.
To me, it seems everyone has a low tolerance for being upset in NM when I was there. (Even when they, themselves were often upset too >,<)

Anyway. I don't think you are emo and I don't think you are a pushover. I'm sorry if you ever feel like I'm ignoring you or anything. To be honest, I'm on a really weird sleep schedule right now cause of everything that's going on. So I miss a lot of messages x,x

dont worry hon, none of this has to do with your or anyone here.... It's mainly IRL I just wanna get away...

Should just move out here with us hun.... you know we'd love to have you here.