i only accept good drugs. if i can get lithium, that'll do

And I don't know if I can be saved.

ugh, best song ever on so many levels. i think itll end that way for me one day, just cut off and whacked out of my mind on things i cannot control. what more could a guy ask for.

:c I admit, winter has me feeling low too. It's that time of year
Legit, therapists offices are /packed/ after the holidays until March. Lack of sunlight does crazy shit to peeps.

Try exercising. I know that helps when I'm feeling at my wits end. Also, I've been looking for ya on AIM :3

ive sort of felt this way for a while now. probably about 5-6 years? i need more than sunlight and therapy to end this. but ill be on later maybe if you are there.

I have also been looking for you! For... reasons.

Stop being a little bitch. Get a job, get a house, get a car, and get a stable life.

i have a job and a car and a place to live and a stable life. cant you read?

Hmmm, I wonder why you have such depression. It is most likely because you fucked up your Dopamine levels with drugs.
(Many drugs cause your brain to release ridiculous amounts of Dopamine which is the chemical in your brain that makes you feel "Happy/Awesome", when you destroy your Dopamine receptors, you might fall i nto depression due to a lack of chemical happy drug.)

Your real name: Dick.

That is Mr. Dick to you sonny.

who are you, go away.

It's surprising to read that you're anti-drug since most of your journal entries make you seem like you're on something.

Dude, depression is just a hungry, hungry void that will consume every bit of emotion, motivation, and will to survive that you have. It will make you tired for no reason, no matter how many energy drinks you knock back. It is beyond sadness, because you don't feel sad, you just feel empty. It even makes it to where you can't even muster enough enthusiasm to masturbate. Believe me, depression and I are near and dear acquaintances. The only thing I recommend is to go out and just... do something. Anything. Run, write, draw, punch a fucking hole in your wall, whatever. Just do something to get your energy levels going. I think for me, it's drug related. When I was a kid, they put me on all kinds of shit, including antidepressants (the foster care system makes you the government's personal lab rat). Ironic, because depression was a lasting side effect. You're not alone, man. It's painful as fuck, believe me. Just fight back.

i try to fight back man, i just get really tired holding everything inside. and they did the same thing to me as a kid too, pills out the ass. lithium, lexapro, ritalin, adderall, every pill in the world. the didnt do shit to fix anything. they just made me a zombie, or a tweaker, or anything but calm and normal. of course life didnt help me along but i guess here i am now, and im doing the best i can at the moment. been working out, so that helps some. i find that if i can do something really intense i can just sort of drift off into thinking about nothing, so i try to do that with everything i do. idle time for my mind to wander and muse is deadly time.