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This year of the snake has been...
12 years ago
Can is not the same as must..
...rather unpleasant. Not in a really really bad or miserable way but mentally. This the season to be 'jolly' and have relative visitation; that's what Chinese New Year is about. Relative comes and catch up with each other, especially with my slightly ill grandma and we get red packets, just like what the whole celebration is and about. But it pains me to hear and know that my family kept pressing on matters of how grown up we are. Just few days ago, I turned 24, which was in the same week of Chinese New Year. From there on, grandparents and parents has been telling and asking "Have a girlfriend yet?" "Seeing any one yet?"
It really is a pain in the ass to hear such words but it gets worse with the fact that my other relative expects me to get married as soon as I can so he could live long and give his blessings. Pfft. You know those traditional Chinese stuff. You have tea offering, gets blessing, say a few words and such and blah blah blah. It's how typical my whole family is, not to mention conservative as well. And he kept on saying that he's already 85 years old and won't be here for long. He's hoping to see me with a wife and such.
I think most or everyone would have felt this sense of family pushing you off the bridge and trying to get you married but then, there's your inner self, telling you that you're not straight and in need of a wife. I don't know what I want but I do know that I like men more than I'd like women but there is a sense of wanting to raise a family and walking down the aisle and everything. Church bells ringing with all the works. But then... I like men... what is there to do about it!
Well hell... I guess... it has already begun. The fact that my family may or might go and introduce a new girl to me and everything is about to happen. Prolly in a few years time, with each passing Chinese New Year that is.. I'm just... unknown... What about me! Don't I have a say on whether or not I'd like to have a wife or a male companion or everything?
*sulks in corner*
It really is a pain in the ass to hear such words but it gets worse with the fact that my other relative expects me to get married as soon as I can so he could live long and give his blessings. Pfft. You know those traditional Chinese stuff. You have tea offering, gets blessing, say a few words and such and blah blah blah. It's how typical my whole family is, not to mention conservative as well. And he kept on saying that he's already 85 years old and won't be here for long. He's hoping to see me with a wife and such.
I think most or everyone would have felt this sense of family pushing you off the bridge and trying to get you married but then, there's your inner self, telling you that you're not straight and in need of a wife. I don't know what I want but I do know that I like men more than I'd like women but there is a sense of wanting to raise a family and walking down the aisle and everything. Church bells ringing with all the works. But then... I like men... what is there to do about it!
Well hell... I guess... it has already begun. The fact that my family may or might go and introduce a new girl to me and everything is about to happen. Prolly in a few years time, with each passing Chinese New Year that is.. I'm just... unknown... What about me! Don't I have a say on whether or not I'd like to have a wife or a male companion or everything?
*sulks in corner*
2) transport becomes easier; more productivity, can go to work, go balik kampung, without carpooling with family
3) ensures a beautiful wedding (if you wanna get married ) + future expenses is insured with the savings
4) you will be the envy of lots of girls (if you're planning to get married of course) coz you are secured with a house, transport and dough.
5) You are your own man, biatch. Sorry about that, was watching HIMYM.
On my side I am lucky for that for being the youngest, I'm even already an uncle so I don't have to worry about passing the name, but marriage and bells ringing... Honestly it's something that I'm looking forward at some point in my life, I like men, hell I like my man, more than anything, and I know I'm constantly seeing myself growing old with him... I'm just lucky to live in a country trying to legalize that at the moment, be it marriage or adoption, if we ever want to create our own little family...
Your story is saddening, but don't sulk yet, wait, maybe things will go for the best, I have no idea how, but there is always a chance to see things taking a good turn, even if that's just being stupidly optimistic from me... But if you want to talk or vent it out, I'm almost always out there and ready to listen to your problems Falcon!
If I ever came out, my mum would probably land in the hospital due to the shock and would also disgrace me from everything. Thus, the reason why I'm at least saving up for a few more bit in the near future. I know that this would be coming in five years time.
And this is something I won't blame you for, it's only logical wanting first to save up and try to get in a stable situation before even trying to come out, more so when you present things like that... That's why I say it once again, I can be a good listener, if you feel like venting it out or talking my door is open.
See, that's the reason why I write, knowing the very fact that stories is my only mainstream of living out my dreams. LOL!