was starting okay, then it just went bad.... got a NPA (a tube to open the airway if someone isn't breathing ((took a medical class today)) ) and i choked on it then when they pulled it out my nose wouldnt stop bleeding. after the class my NCO made me do push ups because i 'got him sick' i feel sore all over and my heart hurts from the letter i got from her last night still..... i sat outside till about ten minutes ago when i came back inside cause i knew she wouldnt call this late.... i still love her so much but im hurting... i just want.... i just NEED her to be happy.... not upset, not like this.... haven't slept well this week either, maybe three four hours every night.... im just feeling like shit...

tomorrow i should be drawing her valentines then birthday gift though. ill try to get one or both of them done and then possibly post them....